Thread: Mirror - (Strong Language)

There seemed to be a misunderstanding with a poem of mine, and my IP address being flagged as spam o.o. I'd like for everyone to know that this poem is about myself, it explains my insecurities of having friends, lovers, and family. Every paragraph is about another person I've hurt in the past and the reason why I write this is to learn from my mistakes and make myself a better person. This is not towards any WF.com member, what-so-ever and I apologize if it seemed like it was before. I will start clearifying what my poems are about. Thank you for reading and understanding.

Hey, rob, why don't you look in the mirror
Tell that person the same shit you told your peers
Cut the bitch loose, Let the guy go
Lock up all insecurities and just go with the flow


Scream at him the same way you do your loved ones
No ones safe from your wrath when the storm comes
"hey man, calm down, don't get worked up"
Yeah, tell him all that and see where the kid ends up.


Tell him he's wrong, just to show him no right
Tell him theres only one way to fight this fight
Analyze how he acts, see if he takes it to heart
Just to question your relationship, bringing him back to the start


Get him to trust you only to watch him fall
Listen to the screams but ignore all the calls
Fight for him just enough to have him in your grasp
Feel him crumble in your hands, watch him pour like sand


Give him enough to lick his chops but never taste the sensation
Watch the rose pedals die from the lack of percipitation
Lick his blood off your teeth after poking them holes
Turn around and hide the grin plastered from taking his soul

Show him all you told him was to just clip his wings
Break him down into nothing, never let the caged bird sing
Not even a chirp, never let him fly his own path
Be his blind tour guide, you don't tell he wont ask

Don't hesitate, use his spine to scratch your own back
Look through his eyes to get answers to what you shouldn't ask
Play the little strings you developed all along
walk him over to the corner, cut them off, the act is conned

Go ahead and get what you want, capture lighting in the bottle
Open it, pour it down your throat, and float back to the bottom
Drag him down with you and never let the kid go
Show him that your horns grow and let your pitch fork tail show

This has the hard hitting edge of Rap "music"...Stanza 6 is brilliant. Peace--Jul

Ayso; In this poem the line length works. Once again I had to read it several times to fully appreciate it. Your rhyme scheme is very solid. All the lines appeared to be natural, with no forcing, or fill in apparent. Very nice imagery with a nice progression to the end. Good job.

regards