Thread: "I follow along after..." (first line)

I follow along after
you,
with my stick in my mouth.
Faithfully at your heels.
We stop.
Dropping my stick, nudging
it closer to your feet,
with my nose.
You smile at me.
I wag my tail in the dirt.
You reach down,
rumpling my ears.
I wiggle with delight.
You pick my stick up.
I prance about turning circles,
chasing my tail.
Cocking back your arm
I dart out in the direction,
I think you will throw it.
Oops, you tricked me, I'm wrong.
Racing over, grabbing it.
Playing keep away.
I won't let you have it
never.
You turn to leave.
I follow along after.

Haha, I really like this. It's a very interesting perspective you have taken on. I don't think I've ever read a poem from the perspective of a dog. Very creative, and I really loved the ending.

One suggestion - your use of the dash is very distracting. I would suggest looking up the dash to see how it is supposed to be used. Also, read Dickinson. She is the master of the dash.

SG; thnx for the read and review. I removed the hyphens, I was trying to create an enjambment with them. Thnx for the kind words, I'm glad you liked it.

Love it! I agree with Squalid, vary interesting perspective, I did notice a few things - Opps should be oops, and trick should be tricked - other than that great work keep up the good work

Very fun! For some reason I was thinking it was going to turn into something metaphorical. I am really glad it didn't! I love the simplicity of it.

Chiefspider; Thnx for the read and review. I corrected the parts mentioned. Good call. Thnx for the kind words.

Katie D; Thnx for the read and your kind words. Glad you liked it.

Regards

This delightful poem gave me the "warm fuzzy" feeling that my 2 canine characters give me...You brilliantly captured all those subtle nuances that a playful pup has --darting off in the direction they think a stick is going to be thrown---nudging a toy up to your feet--playing keep away.This was written by a dog lover--and from one Dog lover to another, Thank you so much, now if you will excuse me--I am going to go play with my furry friends...Peace--Jul

Greetings;

Jul, thnx for the read and your kind words. Peace.

jeffrey