Thread: To My Wife of 43 Years

To my wife of 43 years.

She was a city girl and I a small town boy.
What did we have in common?
(Her hair was auburn red, like the very last touch of sunset.)

She played the violin and I played football.
What did we have in common?
(Her eyes were blue, but dark as midnight.)

Her father was an engineer and mine a roofer.
What did we have in common?
(Her freckles danced and swirled and danced again.)

She came to school to learn, I came to play.
What did we have in common?
(Her dimples drew the eye as a magnet draws iron.)

We met by chance at a dance I hadn’t wanted to attend.
What did we have in common?
(Her smile lit the room and I was taken.)

When bodies come together there’s a flash.
When souls embrace, the light outshines the sun.

What did we have in common?
Not a single thing.

No.
Not a single thing.

August 2007 Rev. June 2011

How absolutely enchanting...No nits to pick here! Very clever--the way you asked "What did we have in common"--then listed one of her attributes ...Lovely. Peace--Jul

Absolutely loved the poem. It's beautiful. Loved the lines

Her hair was auburn red, like the very last touch of sunset

and

When bodies come together there’s a flash.
When souls embrace, the light outshines the sun.

I'm sure your wife is a really special woman.
Nice work.

Congratulations for skirting the ever spiraling divorce rate, love. This is beautiful, indeed. I was quite taken with your unique construction and the repetition worked well for you, I love when that happens as it's usually not the case. One nit, in this line "She came to school to learn I came to play". You abandoned the "and" employed in the previous lines, for the sake of consistency, I'd add it, if not, then a comma after learn is in order. Much enjoyed and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Best,
Lisa

Yes, congratulations! 43 years is a wonderful accomplishment, especially these days. Whatever you don't have in common is working great for you. Thank you for an uplifting read.

Of course it should be "and". I don't know how I missed that. Thanks.

This is a great piece, breathtaking.

I agree with the others. I like your use of metaphor as well. You have created a very nice picture of the relationship. Good work.

I am rethinking that "and". It seems to throw off the cadence somehow? What do any of you think? Leave it or take it out?

As a twenty-seven year man myself I found this to be very touching. It is a fine one to read out to the assembled family on special occasions. You might want to consider a full stop instead of all the first line 'ands'. I think it adds a bit of drama to set up the 'What did we have in common?'

cheers
J.R.

This is very nice -- a lovely testament to marriage. Well, done!

I am rethinking that "and". It seems to throw off the cadence somehow? What do any of you think? Leave it or take it out?

I agree; it does throw off the cadence. Maybe try this:

She came to school to learn, and I to play

Lovely poem, by the way. And yes, congratulations.

I really like the structure of this poem more than anything.

This is wonderful!

Your repetition and structure works so perfectly.

Your wife is a very lucky woman to have such beautiful words written about her. Congrats on 43 years, that is incredible and something to be very proud of.