Thread: Summer

Little boys
after baseball games
with sopping bangs.
Little girls
leaping into swimming pools
in pink swimsuits.

While hot sunlight
glitters upon the green leaves
waving and swinging in sweltering winds:
those leaves grown long
by generous showers
which sparkle like diamonds in the grass.

And those summer afternoons
drift into summer evenings
sitting on front porch swings
hearing cicadas sing
and watching the children
chase fireflies and laugh
while the fading light lasts.

I love this--I am a country Girl--Actually -we lived in the Deeeep woods.not much to do but play in the woods-and catch fireflies by the porch light-while mom sat on the porch and visited with my Aunt and Uncles...You captured the mood of those evenings so beautifully that I am quite homesick for those innocent childhood times. As always-a pleasure to read your work--Peace-Jul

Fabulous imagery, Todd, so very vivid I swore I could smell grass and hear giggling. Love this. I have to thank you, love, you bring some sorely needed light to these boards. Please keep doing you.

Best,
Lisa

Originally Posted by Firemajic

I love this--I am a country Girl--Actually -we lived in the Deeeep woods.not much to do but play in the woods-and catch fireflies by the porch light-while mom sat on the porch and visited with my Aunt and Uncles...You captured the mood of those evenings so beautifully that I am quite homesick for those innocent childhood times. As always-a pleasure to read your work--Peace-Jul

A kindred spirit to me I see : ) playing in the woods is much more fun than playing on the wii ; )

As far as childhood, innocence, homesickness, nostalgia, beauty, nature, etc - these are all the things that keep me writing
---todd

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

Fabulous imagery, Todd, so very vivid I swore I could smell grass and hear giggling. Love this. I have to thank you, love, you bring some sorely needed light to these boards. Please keep doing you.

Again Lisa, you are very kind - you fuel my desire to take writing to further levels - words can be so powerful, it really is quite amazing their power - and I've only dabbled in it

Light, O yes Light - after spending my own time in darkness, I revel in the light and it's nice to see that some of that light sometimes shines through what I've written

---todd

Beautiful again. It's nice to read something sunny from time to time.

waving and swinging in sweltering winds

I realised recently - I like alternate alliteration, inverted too (example of this would be strangely bonded, bizarrely separated from one of my poems. lol just wanted to clear what I was talking about. )

which sparkle like diamonds in the grass

You make a lot of diamonds sparkle, don't you? Beautiful imagery again.

Loved the poem, Todd. Keep posting.

Yes, this is nice and easy and straightforward. I can relate to all of it. A breath of fresh air -- even if it's warm, humid summer air. Nice job.

The way you write is spectacular todd. I love how I always feel like I am "in" your poem - I can feel, see, smell everything that you describe. It is so wonderful to read your work. Good job!

great images! and lots of great sounds, this was fun to read. i'm hoping to have lots of backyard barbiques this summer, so this just hit the spot. very well done.

wood

That first stanza felt like Cummings to me. Very strong imagery, great use of sound.

One thought: "golden showers". Cliche? Awful connotations? I suggest maybe rewording that one.

^ I agree about the "golden showers" bit. Defintiely bad ideas associated with that. You don't want that in your poem. Ha, ha.

Anyway, thank you for this, Todd. Gave me such a nice, warm feeling. I just got done writing a really hard piece for me, so I needed something to read that made me feel good. I can't really do anything but echo what everyone else said. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.

Ha Ha. Oops. I didn't make the golden shower connection. But now that you mention it...

Originally Posted by candid petunia

Beautiful again. It's nice to read something sunny from time to time.

"Sunny" means something different in your part of the world I'm sure : ) thanks - I'm glad you found the beauty in it

I realised recently - I like alternate alliteration, inverted too (example of this would be strangely bonded, bizarrely separated from one of my poems. lol just wanted to clear what I was talking about. )

I get what you are saying : ) and I didn't notice this here until you pointed out - I honestly don't intentionally use things like that, as in "I think I'll use an inverted alliteration here" - it is a nice effect though, I'll look forward to seeing your use of it - thanks so much for bringing it to my attention : )

You make a lot of diamonds sparkle, don't you?

I had thought you would zero in on that part : )

Beautiful imagery again. Loved the poem, Todd. Keep posting.

thanks for your kind words : )
---todd

ok, Angel101, Squalid Glass, and JosephB, I truly had to step away and think for several minutes about what you were meaning by the "golden showers", what the bad connotation could be - then I saw it

honestly folks, is that how it hits you? : ) Maybe you also see "rainbows frowning through urine-golden air" [Disturbed by Spring] : )

I liked the coupling of "golden" and "diamonds" there, but...

Now that you've said it, the impression remains when I read it - even if I christen it with innocence, a little boy tinkling in the yard, it doesn't go in this piece at all : )

So I'm caving and changing it - I weighed several options, and it came down to either "generous showers" or "silver showers", but I'm going with "generous" - thanks, I think : )

---todd

Sorry, R. Kelly ruined that combination for me.