Thread: Summer

JosephB wrote:

Yes, this is nice and easy and straightforward. I can relate to all of it. A breath of fresh air -- even if it's warm, humid summer air. Nice job.

thanks - glad you liked the straightforward manner - poetry doesn't have to be difficult and ponderous to be effective - difficult and ponderous has its place though - with such an innocent and accessible topic, a simple style works well

Jinxi wrote:

The way you write is spectacular todd. I love how I always feel like I am "in" your poem - I can feel, see, smell everything that you describe. It is so wonderful to read your work. Good job!

I really appreciate what you say here, means so much - it is truly encouraging, thanks!

wood wrote:

great images! and lots of great sounds, this was fun to read. i'm hoping to have lots of backyard barbiques this summer, so this just hit the spot. very well done.

much appreciated - writing has helped me to be more observant and take in more deeply what is around me, then later maybe frame it in some way to capture it in words


Squalid Glass wrote:

That first stanza felt like Cummings to me. Very strong imagery, great use of sound.

what I recall of cummings style is minimal but vivid - less is often more - have you ever seen an overdone work of art by an amateur? too much, too overwrought - then an experienced and skilled artist comes along and can sketch out something heartbreakingly beautiful in just a few pencils strokes - I hope to attain to a bit of the latter in writing -

Angel101 wrote:

Anyway, thank you for this, Todd. Gave me such a nice, warm feeling. I just got done writing a really hard piece for me, so I needed something to read that made me feel good. I can't really do anything but echo what everyone else said. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.

Glad it gave you a lift - the contrasts put texture in life: light/dark, joy/pain - I still hear your voice on your "spoken word' post, your singing brought a certain joy there too -

thanks everyone
---todd

Mmm, of course. Reminded me of Cummings' "-in just." My favorite poem.

Squalid Glass, I just googled R. Kelly and golden showers, based on your reference, and now I wish I hadn't - it was worse than I thought

I know what you meant by cliche now, but it was a cliche in pop culture than I was blissfully unaware of (but alas, no longer)

I am going to have to go find the cummings poem you named, to wash my mind clean -

---todd

Haha, definitely do that! Pop culture cliches are odd in poetry, so I guess that defaults your use of it. But still... nothing good comes of that image. Haha. -in just is just perfection. Your piece works nicely beside it.

Originally Posted by Squalid Glass

Haha, definitely do that! Pop culture cliches are odd in poetry, so I guess that defaults your use of it. But still... nothing good comes of that image. Haha. -in just is just perfection. Your piece works nicely beside it.

I just finished reading it and was going to write that very word: "perfection"

about using the cliche-without-knowing-it, this is a very good lesson in letting others provide feedback - served me well here, thanks!

Don't mention it. I'm glad you liked the poem.

Goodness, Todd, where have you been hiding? I stopped dead there, but I refused to mention it because I didn't want to seem like my mind is in the gutter. I chose to take it the way you intended, however slightly cliche. It's a relief to know that not only my mind went there. lol.

Edit: In hindsight, I was reasonably sure you didn't know. I feel evil for not telling.

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

Goodness, Todd, where have you been hiding?

Thankfully, I am (purposefully) ignorant of much of popular modern culture - who is R. Kelly anyway, I've only heard the name? - I assume he's some sort of musician/singer - I tuned out of modern music around the time 80's alt went mainstream.

I stopped dead there, but I refused to mention it because I didn't want to seem like my mind is in the gutter. I chose to take it the way you intended, however slightly cliche. It's a relief to know that not only my mind went there. lol.

Edit: In hindsight, I was reasonably sure you didn't know. I feel evil for not telling.

you should be ashamed for keeping silent : ) no, really I'm glad I was told eventually, but I understand you not wanting to say anything - I'm glad you knew my intentions were wholly innocent.

"Golden showers" - what a lovely pairing, how sad it got ruined by one man's exploits, and the media - I was going to use the phrase "lady ga-ga" in a poem, but alas that will not fly either now! :')

---todd

Todd, beautiful word picture summing up summer. Loved it!

Originally Posted by Phyllis

Todd, beautiful word picture summing up summer. Loved it!

thanks so much Phyllis -
---todd