Thread: Home War

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This is Haunting and disturbing on several levels- Dark and for me-full of sorrow.The third stanza I did not understand-but the rest of your beautiful poem-I am afraid -has the potential to haunt me for quite some time...

Hi Firemajic - I'm glad you found it effective. I often find nostalgia very haunting during a conflict, and a lot of my poems centre around it, so I'm glad you did feel the tone I was trying to convey. The third stanza is a bit of a jumble, but I intended for it to be quite literal: catching sight of a photograph (a single happy memory), which is next to a thimble. When I was a kid, I would always pretend my fingers were soldiers and the thimbles my mum had lying around the house would be the soldiers' helmets. I thought it was quite fitting to put the single happy, nostalgic memory next to a symbol of innocence.

As disturbing as it sounds, I'm glad you found it haunting! Thanks for the feedback.

Good job -- nostalgia can be haunting. Especially photos -- if the image is of something that represents an ideal that provides contrast to the way things sometimes pan out.

I think I got the gist of your third stanza, but I think it could do with some clarifying. The rest works well, reads fine. Really does the job you set out to do, I think.

I like this, Nick. Loved the last stanza. Is this about someone you lost?

Joe - Thanks for the feedback. I've started looking at ways to edit the third stanza to be a bit clearer, or remove the thimble reference. I'm glad you found it effective.

Farah - I'm happy you liked it. It's about an internal family feuds that have really rattled some strong relationships.

I like the thimble -- you could just make it a more straightforward simile. It obviously means something to you, it has to do with the extended metaphor -- so I'd keep it.