Thread: Needle in the Hay

two months to turn
the cold handle of his
bedroom door. It was her
decision to clean it out
by herself. Bed made (he
was always so clean), clothes
in the pantry and a dark stain
that lays between the carpet
and the tile of his bathroom.
She touches the cold comforter
and looks at the pillowcase haunted
with the ghost of indentions and the
dull blades of bleach and copper seeps
from the bathroom and this was a mistake.


Next to his guitar a record player
and there's one still in it.
She blows the dust off the
black skin, turns it on, places
the needle on the living thing,
sits down next to the player
and holds her head in her arms.

Your use of sound in this piece is excellent. Nice, subtle rhymes.

So he is dead in the poem?
But one suggestion:

She blows the dust off of the
black skin

Shouldn't it read
She blows the dust off the
black skin​?

Liked it.