Thread: I am . . .

The room is dark and many,
clutching at me as I pass the
memory covered wallpaper.
It drips, covering my consciousness
with regrets I no longer own.
Here the clear chimes of muted smiles
leads me towards the huge rafter.
It wails, tapping a silent frown
its fat, ropey finger curling, beckoning.
The life I conquered, free now,
hangs above me, each hour twisted
into a menacing knot I cannot unfurl.
You fade from my sight
and I am . . .

Hi, Boddaert. "I am..." The existential poem. What is vital to the shaping of our self-chosen mode of existence. Just my gatherings. Exemplified :


The narrator has finally shaped himself pleasingly and free, despite blockades.

The life I conquered, free now,
hangs above me.

Narrator has conqured the demon within.

You fade from my sight
and I am . . .

Just loved this!

memory covered wallpaper.

I particularly liked the highlighted and great use of anthropormorphism.

It wails, tapping a silent frown
its fat, ropey finger curling, beckoning

Enjoyed this very much. More! Laurie

Thank you so much for your comments SilverMoon. I'm glad you enjoyed it and gave me another viewpoint to consider.

hi, i like this poem, lots of great images.

there were a couple of things i found confusing, i hope you don't mind if i point them out

"It wails, tapping a silent frown" i can't make heads or tails of this line, not sure what "it" refers to, the rafter or the rope?

"its (i think that should be "it's")fat, ropey finger curling, beckoning" great line!

hope this helps, and i enjoyed your poem, as sad as it was.

wood

Hi Wood, glad you enjoyed the poem.

I thought "it's" referred to "it is", although I always get confused between that and "its", which I thought referred to its property. Help!!!

The "It wails, . . ." refers to the beam, whose finger beckons on end to all the pain.

Hope that helps a little and sorry to have confused you.

Peter

ah, you're right, i keep getting that backwards... because the rule it backwards i guess. ok, nevermind. =)