Thread: Reading in the Library(version 2)

ok this is my other "Reading in the Library" enjoy

Surrounded by fiction,
science and history
I sit and ponder
as to what do I absorb next?
Knowledge of yesterday?
Fantasies of maybe-tomorrows?
or perhaps tales magic?

I sit and wonder
whom shall I absorb next?
Ann Bausum?
Eoin Colfer?
Or perhaps J.R Tolken?
A question of
immense contemplation

sliding gates allow
another visitor
to this paper hell
“What shall you absorb”
I ask?
Stranger than fiction
this man of wisdom
new his ordeal
and answered my question
by tearing me open

Chief, much improved! And I'm so glad you rid this revision of "biorhythm". Too much a complicated word for the context of your poem. Really, a complicated word in general. Here, you're more direct, rendering the poem much more comprehensible. I really enjoyed. Felt like I was right in the Library. Comments below.

Surrounded by fiction,
science and history,
I sit and ponder
as to what I absorb next?
Knowledge of yesterday?
Fantasies of maybe-tomorrows
or perhaps tales magic? Love this 1st stansa. Overwhelmed with so many delightful possibilites, setting the tone for this piece.

I sit and wonder
whom shall I absorb next?
Ann Bausum?
Eoin Colfer?
Or perhaps J.R Tolken?
A question of
immense contemplation

Sliding gates allow
another visitor You might want to elaborate, here. Describe, just enough.
to this paper hell Loving this! Great imagery, describing where the guy resides, now.
" What shall you absorb, Eliminate "to", here.
I ask? Question mark at end
Stranger than fiction
this man of wisdom
new his ordeal
and answered my question
by taring me open Do you mean "tearing" me open? If so, why and how?

Some suggestions you might want to give some thought to. So much more improved than your original! Thanks for the read. Laurie

thanks for the critique and suggestions! I'll definitely take them into consideration, and as for "by tearing me open" I was trying to indicate the narrator himself was a book if it still dosent make sense after knowing this I'll go ahead and elaborate on it.

Chief, somewhere along the lines of the poem I think you might imply that the book is a metaphor for the narrator. I have no suggestions right now. Could be a real workout for the brain if you're up for the challenge.

hmmm I see, I shall take my time and try to make the perfect work out for the human brain O_O