Thread: Are you ever glad, dear lady?

Are you ever glad, dear lady,
and filled with a delicious rapture
upon waking, realizing
that life is new, is vibrant
and is full of fresh possibilities
for future endeavors?
Though you loved once,
strong and true,
your love now has set you free:
For the sky has opened wide
to receive your winged flight,
with the sun on your face
and a torrential wind at your back.
Your hope can thus sail high and far,
flying like a fallen star reborn,
returning to the heavens
to smile upon your good earth
with a radiance of glittering gladness.
So loving lady,
are you ever glad,
now that he has died?

Whoa, the last line is quite a wallop. The first hint of that was at "set you free."
Other bits I enjoyed:
"delicious rapture"--goes with the "reborn" and "heavens" stuff
"future endeavors"--I wonder if this suggests that the lady will love another in the future.
"your good earth"--reminds me of The Good Earth, in which a man is unfaithful to his wife. Perhaps that might be a reason for the lady to be glad that her love is dead.
And what about "reborn?" "Return to the heavens"? Has her love been holding her back or killing her in some way? Or am I just being cynical as usual?
Anyhow, good poem.

Originally Posted by Trides

Whoa, the last line is quite a wallop.

I'm glad you said that, I was going for impact here -

The first hint of that was at "set you free."

I was hoping that I didn't give away the ending by this hint -

I was really impressed, Trides, with your very astute comments - you picked up on a lot of the subtleties, and you are right on target: the widow was married to a man whom she loved deeply, but who treated her terribly, was controlling, abusive, unfaithful, etc - she stayed with him out of love, and religious convictions - now he has died, but she does not allow herself to experience the legitimate freedom she now has been given - she feels guilty for any feeling of elation, presses it down and will not acknowledge it - so, no, you were not being cynical, but right on track.

About "good earth": I really enjoyed that insight - I am vaguely aware of the book "The Good Earth", and I think I may have studied it in high school or college, but I can't recall the story - but what you said about it totally fits, which floors me because it was completely unintended - I was considering changing "good" to something else, because "good earth" is the title of a famous book, but nothing else seemed to feel right according to what I intended, so I kept it - maybe it was my subconscious at work or something, which if so really amazes me.

I actually like this piece even better after reading your comments, so thanks for that!

---todd

OH you are Bad--SO VERY BAD!! sneaky, conniving -lulling me into a false sense of security - that I am going to read a fluffy little ditty! Well done !!

I absolutely loved your startling ending! Even with now knowing the back story. Laurie

Firemajic and Silvermoon,

There is actually something very fulfilling about having a kernal of an idea, putting it down on paper and then having it "work" like you intended when read by others - thanks so much for the feedback : )

---todd

you express the feeling of relief very well in this poem, the world does feel larger when the weight of opression is lifted. well done.

zig

Originally Posted by toddm

I was really impressed, Trides, with your very astute comments - you picked up on a lot of the subtleties, and you are right on target...
I actually like this piece even better after reading your comments, so thanks for that!

Thank YOU.

Originally Posted by wood

you express the feeling of relief very well in this poem, the world does feel larger when the weight of opression is lifted. well done.
zig

thanks zig -

Very profound work, toddm. Your words were flowing and the story (and need I mention the ending? ) was fascinating.

Loved it. And as the others said, surprising ending. But one thing bothered me - should it be are you ever glad, dear lady? or simply are you glad, dear lady?

Are you glad,
now that he has died?

Or could elaborate a bit on the ever so I can understand better.

Originally Posted by candid petunia

Loved it. And as the others said, surprising ending. But one thing bothered me - should it be are you ever glad, dear lady? or simply are you glad, dear lady?

Are you glad,
now that he has died?

Or could elaborate a bit on the ever so I can understand better.

thanks, candid petunia, glad you liked it - and it is "are you ever glad?", meaning "do you ever feel glad?", instead of: "are you glad?", as in "are you glad he died?" - nuanced to be sure, but "are you ever glad?" is what I was going for: "do feelings of gladness ever leap up, even though you don't want them to?".
"Are you glad he died?" is a tad too blunt according to my intent here.

thanks also Heavy Thorn - glad you found this fascinating : )

---todd

I second the positive comments -- pretty clever. One thing -- "torrential" is usually associated with rain or water, pouring or falling. I don't think it really works with wind.

Nice job!

He's clearly talking about a hurricane

Wow... The last line was quite startling indeed. I applaud your cleverly disguised slap in the face!