Thread: Questions

This is the begining to a piece that I've wanted to flesh out but I'm never entirely certain if it's too playful or maybe too serious, so I'm undecided about which direction to try to take it in.

Questions

Is there anything to you and I?
Or is that cliché, far too passé
to say today?

Is there such a thing
as meant to be,
a fate, or eternity?

If the unseen eyes and unherd sighs
ever found their way to you
would you stop, or pass them by?

I love where you are taking this! It sounds like Some one who WANTS to ask-but is not sure if the feelings will be welcome or not-so the asking is put sort of joking manner -just in case of being rebuffed.. Does that make ANY sense ? That last stanza has a hint of unrequited love--now that I think about it-that is the feeling the entire Poem gives me. This is a really-really cool piece-can't wait to read the final edit! Thanks-Jul

-Jul, You have it bang on, asking seriously but gaurded by a shield of humour, thats the tone I wanted to convey. I'll make sure to share whenever I've finished putting the story together.

Just my thoughts:

Someone who is guarded, no, apprehensive about asking a girl out wouldn't sound so confident, even resorting to humor. Obviously the person is asking questions, but they feel humorous and confident, not uncertain. This feels more like a guy playing with a girls emotions, rather than an emotionally stressed guy.

Does that make sense?