Thread: The Bootleg Series Vol. 4

As the audience applauds
while he tunes down
a string I turn to
her and say how this
album wasn't really recorded
at Royal Albert Hall. She
nods her head and hands
me a piece of gum, telling
me that I'm cute. As I try
to make sense of what she said
she walks away and looks at
some old photo of Ginsberg in
a wheelchair holding a bottle
of Jamaican rum. I try to tell
her that this is a weird
store but the owner tells
me to spit out my gum.
I can hear her humming down
the hallway, softly tapping
her fingers against dusty
bookshelves (she loved me
then, we didn't waste time)
and, hands in my pockets,
I go to join her. "Am I wasting
my words?" the owner screams
and goes to throw me outside
but his face turned so
red and he falls on the floor.
"Let's look through the drawers."
she tells me but then
a police officer comes in,
screams "A cover up!" and
punches me, breaking
my eyes. The last things I hear
before I black out:
"He took much,
tried to steal a crutch,
even his shirt is mine."

Although I have to admit that the ending of your poem is still escaping my full grasp I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy the level of detail with which you introduce your narrative, the picture is painted right down to the origin of the bottle of rum. The only real feedback I can offer right now is perhaps try to separate things into stanzas so that the reader has a better sense of direction with the piece as a whole and watch out for ugly enjambments like the ending of L.17 where you have I which begins a new sentence/thought but its stuck on the end of a different line, all alone - unless thats specifically what you wanted. Last thing, it should be bookshelves on L.21. I would love to read your thoughts, explanation or inspiration for this piece.
-Ian

I'm basically playing around with the live version of the song "4th Time Around" from the Bob Dylan album "The Bootleg Series Vol.4: The "Royal Albert Hall"
YouTube - ‪dylan' 4th time around live‬‏

Haha, I didn't get it. But I liked it! It's very stream of consciousness and, despite some enjambment issues I see, it does have a nice little rhythm. I should listen to the song, but I don't really want to ruin the mysterious feel I got from the poem. Good work!