Thread: Waking Up With Summer’s Songs

Waking Up With Summer’s Songs

I’m surprised to find myself in this bed;
the wrinkles in the sheets
don’t mean that I’ve slept well.
Waking in afternoon sunlight,
I lay in the ripple and think;
dreams erode like spit
on the sidewalk as I
sift through sandy memories
—these summer days are blending together.

The season’s responsibilities linger
loosely, but are deftly brushed aside
by the echoes of the songs
I fell asleep to; the girls sing
in perfect fidelity.
The chorus repeats; softly
bouncing from the bedroom walls
as my knees crack with my first
five steps to the toilet.

Love it, Svir. You always manage to capture my imagination and put me right there with all the subtle feelings and honesty you pack into your poems.

Svir, your title is delightfully deceptive. I thought I would be reading about the infinite joys of summer. (See my Signature). Rather, you speak of flaws which come with every season, life.

Absolutely brilliant use of similie!

dreams erode like spit
on the sidewalk

And here you go, again. Whada way to go with ending!

my knees crack with my first
five steps to the toilet.

Only one nit. I would have loved to read more of this throughout the poem.

Good going, Svir. Laurie

I agree with all of the above, vary good, and it placed me right in their! keep up the good work !

Excellent, Svir, have to echo Laurie about spit on the sidewalk and the ending. I've become very fond of your work, and you, talented soul that you are, never disappoint.

Best,
Lisa