Thread: Love Song

Love Song

How many songs about girls
that don’t exist have been written
and how long do they live in the hearts
of the people that sing them?

Raging beauties undefined
but by a name—
or some lesser ID: a state,
or perhaps something bigger.

I like to think sometimes
that it’s all the same girl
that we’re in love with—
the same ghostly figure,

undefined by age, size or skin tone.
She’s got a giant soul
and she’ll always be there to kiss your throat
as you scream out her name.

I wish I had something really unique to say about your Poem-But the truth is -I really like it! 3rd stanza-love it! Thank you! peace--Jul

I absolutely love this, fantastic work. My only little qualm with it was the use of the term "ID" which I find just a bit distracting; I've tried to find a word to replace it and the best I can come up with at the moment is "marker". Again, great job.
-Ian

I really like the idea of this poem. I agree about the "ID" thing. That distracted me as well, as it is really visually unappealing. Couple things:

The beginning of this piece, I didn't find it impactful enough. You introduce the idea, but it almost feels bland. I didn't have much interest to keep reading (but did because I wanted to review something). But then I found later that the idea here is cool. However, I would not have guessed that by reading the beginning of this piece. So definitely go back and see what you can do there. And hey, it may just be me. I'm not generally a huge fun of questions in poetry anyway.

I love the way the third stanza begins, but I didn't like the "ghostly figure" thing. I thought it was a bit too cliche. The ending of the poem was good, though.

I feel like the piece is missing something, but I can't quite put my finger on it. It's late and I'm exhausted. If I think of it, I will definitely come back and let you know. Keep writing!

I wouldn't object to "i.d." instead. I agree that "ID" is a bit distracting visually.