Thread: Counting Teeth

Wrote this one today. I work in dentistry, and I'm getting a biochemistry degree in order to go to dental school and eventually become a dentist myself. So naturally, I went right into the wordplay here. Enjoy, guys.

Counting Teeth

Little buds, tissue coiled around,
our electric fingers touch and trigger
pages of uneven, overbitten days
that flush from our eyes.
Then the fingers are coiling,
tissues opening. Buds breaking.
The division and excision.
We are ready to wonder.

If primary hearts don’t erupt
in symmetrical lines
that carry pheromones into our noses,
we have no road.
Smile for me, Baby. Make it misguided.
Faulty occlusions. Nothing but grinding.
All the flakes of us dissolve in a salivary river.

There’s a bead of decay between kisses—
drilling infected holes where we are unsure,
and you love the injections. Numbed repairs.
Make it all better. Disease was never there.
Everything fell out. We can be permanent,
cutting, and crooked. Exteriorly pure.

I started the interproximal rot,
carved my initials there to fester.
Unnoticed, Baby. Tunneling into your tissues.
I love that you’re sensitive.
Hold me when it aches,
douse me in ice until we are cracking
and the outside is dark like us.

Broken hearts in a dead mouth.

I like the metaphor, very unusual choice. It works well here.

vary nice, I must say I never licked going to the dentist...and I dont think this helps lol - but! nonetheless 'tis a good read, keep up the good work

Hi, Angel. This reminds me of "Little Shop of Horrors."! I got a chuckle.

I love that you’re sensitive.
Hold me when it aches,

I can't say that I understood the following, however I do get that "buds" are teeth. I did like the highlighted very much but thereafter I was a goner.

Little buds, tissue coiled around,
our electric fingers touch and trigger
pages of uneven, overbitten days
that flush from our eyes.

Well, maybe a shot at it, here. Below, I beleive you're referring (there must be a better name dentists use) to that small slip of treated paper where we are told to grind our teeth to check for uneveness. I found this to be obsure as I did many of the lines. This is of course because I never went to denistry school. I think there must be a way to concretize a bit without loosing the integrity of your poem.

pages of uneven, overbitten days

A stronger example:

I started the interproximal rot,

However, the following line is brilliant.

carved my initials there to fester.

As is this. This is great imagery!

dissolve in a salivary river.

Your close. I love the very ending "dead mouth"

Broken hearts in a dead mouth.

You have some penetrating (pun intended) images which I took to very well.

Yeah, I was afraid that no one would get this because of all the dental terminology. The idea of this was to equate a relationship with teeth. How it grows, how the initial parts of a relationship act as guides for the rest of it. And how if you don't take care of it, it starts to rot and you lose it.

Thanks! I see. Now, I'm going to give it another read and connect the dots.

i can't agree more with Silvermoon

I freaking love this, Angel. There are far too many original, oh so very original, lines to cite. You carried the metaphor brilliantly, talk about a toothache, lol. Nein nits to these eyes. Fabulously well done, love.

Best,
Me