Thread: Distant lights

Distant lights



I look up to the deepest black
Distant lights of mystery, calling my name
Yet I cannot satisfy them

Although it is of my deepest desire to do so
It would appear I am stuck here
A prisoner of rock, water, and life
A void of all mystery
A void of all new land
Claim by the lucky few of the past

Oh how I long to be the first to feel a new wind
The first to place his feet on new and unknown soil
The first to lay his eyes on something truly unseen
Maybe the first to lay eyes on unseen life

But it seem this mother of mine
A mother of rock, water, and life
Will not let me go
So here I will stay here
With this burning curiosity of mine

Nice work Lubu. (Who btw was always my favorite character on dynasty warriors. I keep meaning to read the romance of the three kingdoms, but I haven't got around to it yet.)

The repitition of "rock, water, and life" was very nice. You've encapsulated a feeling that every explorer, curious soul, and astronaut has felt.

On the lines:
A void of all mystery
A void of all new land

I see that "A void" works with your previous line and the repitition of void is important here. I liked these lines, but it would seem that your saying earth is a void that has all mystery/new land. Would this work:

A void without mystery
A void without new land

Hows that?

Good job Lubu!