Thread: Hidden Deep

I constructed this as entry for the May/June competition but was too daft to read the rules so have been disqualified for editing a typo. I guess I'll put it in the public forum. It is first draft form so is open to all feedback.

In a leafy cathedral
Behind a crumbling façade
In a void of blackness
Four walls hide what light never betrays
Nature creeps beyond all that man surveys
But here

In this dark confessional
A century is no time
For the secrets it keeps
They stay within but it is not their home
There is not one, they are not alone
Not here

I visit this chapel
Although I have no god
It is not a church for men
Not many listen when they pray
What would these walls say?
I fear

SSSHHHHH......I am still in that gorgeous place...listening...I can almost understand those whispers...
Sorry- I have nothing to say except-more please! Thank you-now if you will excuse me-I am going back there.. Peace-Jul

A very lovely and mystical place, the very kind that I love so much. Thank you for taking me there, if only for a moment. The only nit I have is the capitalization of each line, but that is only a personal preference that I have.

Sorry you were disqualified for the challenge, you are not the first to do so. The no edit rule is meant to help members learn the process of getting their work completely ready before submitting, just as you need to do when submitting to a publisher or magazine.

Thank you both for your kind words.

The capitalisation is not a stylistic thing it is just how I have always worked. I would have struggled to change this but I am here to improve and I can already see how I would improve this by removing the uniform capitals.

Thank you.