Thread: Poets Just Can't Be Pleased (revisited)

Poets just can’t be pleased
no matter how you try to appease
we’ll search for your nits
and throw hissy fits
if you screw up an i before e.

God forbid you tell and don’t show
we won’t shrink from letting you know
your imagery's lacking
and your face deserves smacking
then move on to dissecting your flow.

Make sure your punctuation is right
‘cause us piranhas don’t nibble, we bite
be mindful of caps
or your knuckles, we’ll rap
then complain your clichés are trite.

Beware redundancy, it’s a killer
as is wordiness caused by filler
kindly get to the point
and keep our noses in joint
repetition is surely no thriller.

Corrupt syntax makes us see red
we abhor rhymes being force fed
if your meter has bumps
you’ll take your lumps
as we converge as a whole on your thread.

And if you haven't a single clue
our standard advice to you
is to read published work
so you won't seem a jerk
suck it up and skip the boohoos.

No, poets just can’t be pleased
so kindly accept your comments with ease.
We mean no disrespect
and your work’s not abject
pursuit of perfection has us diseased.

Enjoyed this! Was a fun read and had me smiling.

Well spake.

I enjoyed that immensely, and so true. Nice work

I just had to unearth this relic after reading Trides' piece. Again, it's all in good fun, although we can be terribly beastly in our diseased state. I, for one, would much rather be ill than to be well and oblivious to this joyous thing we do.

Dear Farah, Trides, and Nenanda, Many thanks to you all, love that you could relate, in Rapture (lol couldn't resist) that you enjoyed. Now kindly post your pieces in an orderly fashions so that the flogging may commence.

All my best,
Lisa

Oh, ouch! (kindly remove the stick from my eye) Still just as sharp as when I first laid eyes on it. Glad you unearthed it, Lisa.

What a blast! sounds like you have not only given-but received as well...

ok, brilliantly funny and spot on, as they say - gave me a chuckle

That's great, think I will keep it to remind me of the pitfalls, a very handy tool!

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

if your meter has bumps
you’ll take your lumps
as we converge as a whole on your thread.

Very fun Lisa! Gave me a good laugh. Thanks for posting.

Lisa, you never fail to amuze, making a point all the while. Pure magic! This gem of yours was so enjoyable that I strained my cheeks smiling.

Dear Cin, Would you care for the name of a not so proficient surgeon to remove that stick? Thanks for the nod of approval for my using the shovel, love.


Dear Firemajic, Welcome to the forums! You've quite the astute mind, oh yes, I've taken my licks at the beginning as well as passed out a few of my own. But it's in trading those licks that we refine our craft. It's never personal, it's always about perfecting the work.


Dear Todd, Danke, love, that means an awful lot coming from you.


Dear Patricia, I'm honored you think it worthy to hang onto, it's not all encompassing, though, with so many rules, I'm certain I've missed a few, lol.


Dear Flapjack, Elated you enjoyed hon.


Dear Law, Now I'm guilty of the dreaded cheek strain, which would be fine if it were from frowning, Mistress Gloom smiling? I deserve the chair. lol.


My sincere thanks to you all, I've grown very fond of this little nugget.

All my best,
Lisa

Very witty and cleverly done! I enjoyed this

Thank you much, Hunter. Bottom line is, this is just of list of things I've learned since joining the site, some of them the hard way, lol. I'm so happy you enjoyed.

Best,
Lisa

It'd probably do me a great deal of good to keep a hold of this poem as a reference point lol, my poetry could use some of the advice given here!