Thread: The Ghost Inside of Me Fights

Heart Breaking crushing ghost inside me
Trying to figure out am i the one to keep
Trying to terror me and put me to sleep
But I'll try to fight but it seems like i may just be beat
It tells me life is not worth living but my girl
tells me i can win win
just use my yin
The fight buries on..on and on
Now the war is almost done soon it seems i might be done...

This just seems like the start to a poem to me, so I can't really go in too much depth here. Really, it feels a little thrown together right now, so you need to go through and polish it up. Critiques I can give you now:

1. Try and stay away from forced rhyme.
2. Watch your punctuation and capitalization.
3. Try and stay away from the cliche.

I can give you a more detailed critique after you edit if you'd like. Keep writing.

Thanks for the response I will try your tips and this is just someting thrown around lol
i just wrote what came to me.But i will try to edit it so it will be better.
Again thanks for the help.