Thread: Don’t let me forget

Don’t let me forget
because I don’t want to,
and I don’t want to lose
all I ever really had.

So don’t let me forget
when I look into your face
and see what I know is real,
when I hold your hand
and comb through the strands
of your hair.
I'll forget what doesn’t matter-
a world that’s been tattered.
Don’t let me forget how to love.
It’s all that really matters.

I don’t want to live life
in a desperate strife
if I’m not doing it for love.

And I don’t want to die
with a doubt in my mind
that I put on the shades of the blind-
that I went through life without living.

I need a reason to live,
and my own happiness doesn’t cut it.
Teach me how to love
like life is more than just for forfeit.

Don't let me forget.

You have alot of deep emotion and very lyrical lines in this piece. I really like the way in which you used slant end-rhymes in the piece, it can add a serious tone to the poem which fits with your message.

My only concern would be on l.15-16 where you have life/strife which I think comes across as a bit forced compated to the way that cut it/forfeit/forget go together in the last few lines. But if this is meant to be sung or turned into a song then I understand why that would be there. Then again thats just me, anyway, hope you find this helpful.

-Ian

Ian,
I definitely see what you mean. It does sound a bit forced, but I was thinking along the line of turning this into a song. I think I'll toy around with this piece though and see what I come up with. Thanks.