Thread: Disturbed by Spring

Thoughts of one Mr. Edgar McMillan upon awakening on a fine May morning.

My dark room is disturbed:
the night of glorious storms
and joyful fury has passed,
leaving a bitter quietude.
But what now is this chitter-chatter?
Twittering birds outside mock me
with their sing-song silliness.
Begone, you tormenting imps!
Enraged, I thrust open the shades
and oh! the glaring sun explodes
in my eyes, and blinds me.
When right vision returns,
the morning-scene repulses me:
a rainbow is frowning at me
with sickening colored bands,
through urine-golden air.
I frown back, and turn away
to my happy bed, to peace.

I feel the need to point out that this piece is entirely ironic in intent - I'm afraid that the irony may not be immediately apparent

I know people who are like this -

Hangover?

Originally Posted by shadows

Hangover?

funny, but actually no - this isn't even written from my own perspective - it is the mirror opposite of how I personally would respond
it is somewhat a parable about bad attitudes

pessimists? kill-joys, who hate life?

Originally Posted by candid petunia

pessimists? kill-joys, who hate life?

Exactly - you ever meet those people who would rather remain cocooned in their own misery/depression/pain, than allow opportunities for joy to enter in when it comes? - who manage to put a bad spin on even very good and wholesome and happy things

---todd

Can't say I did exactly, but one comes across slightly depressed people all the time.

Liked the words you've used here:

But what now is this chitter-chatter?
Twittering birds outside mock me
with their sing-song silliness.


Enraged, I thrust open the shades
and oh! the glaring sun explodes


a rainbow is frowning at me
with sickening colored bands,
through urine-golden air. urine-golden air? Hahahhaha! This cracked me up! And who doesn't love looking at a rainbow?



Talk about being pessimist. Who wouldn't be cheered by nature? Great work, you've put it across very nicely.

This reminds me of someone I know. I don't think your narrator is really miserable and depressed, (s)he just likes peace and quiet and solitude... I also think it's interesting how you describe the night as "the night of glorious storms / and joyful fury," because the narrator seems to dislike action and movement and yet (s)he describes the storms, which might be interpreted as gloomy by other people, as glorious and joyful.

Some people aren't morning people. I can appreciate the sunrise just as much as the next guy but I like it better when it's a photograph...and I'm looking at it in the afternoon.

EDIT: I forgot to say good job though, You totally painted a picture in my mind.

Sorry, double post. Read below.

Toddm, this piece was so melodramatically over the top that I feared for your well being. Ha! I was ready to send you a comforting PM! I thought you were writing in the very ligit Confessional genre.

it is the mirror opposite of how I personally would respond
it is somewhat a parable about bad attitudes

You will get this across in your poem if you employ the Second Person. Rather go he or she. You will becpme the Strong Objective Observer narrator. The narrator who spies the dark side of The Human Condition with a flair for describing a nearly funny disposition. See if you read the difference.

Enraged, he thrust open the shades
and oh! the glaring sun explodes
in his eyes, and blinds him.

Begone, you tormenting imps!

I am absolutely in love with this line! May I borrow it so I can direct it at some people I know?

a rainbow is frowning at me

A fine "Anthropormorphism".

1. attribution of human characteristics to nonhumans: the attribution of a human form, human characteristics, or human behavior to nonhuman things, e.g. deities in mythology and animals in children's stories

Keep 'em coming! Laurie

I think that the first half of the poem reads alot like Dickinson's "I dreaded that first robin so" which is also a comedic take on the dread of coming spring (at least according to some peoples readings of it) The exaggerated language of the second half of the poem, from 9 on really get the irony across, love the almost cartoonish violence of the scene.

Originally Posted by SilverMoon

A fine "Anthropormorphism".

I think personification might be a better word for that... but yeah, I agree with you, especially as the narrator frowns back, sort of confirming the rainbow's living status.

• A bit different.
• somebody who embodies something: an embodiment or perfect example of something
• representation of abstract quality as human: a representation of an abstract quality or notion as a human being, especially in art or literature
• attribution of human qualities to abstracts: the attribution of human qualities to objects or abstract notions

Personification takes it steps furthur.

Oh well, agree to disagree. It's just a technical thing anyway.