Thread: Unwelcome Paths

Friends and neighbors
stumble through life
uncaring
of their doled out strife.

Without a wisp of remorse
they travel their course
stomping on blades of grass
that are their brethren.

None take responsibility
for traveled paths
where others are trampled,
you do the math...

how many blades
have you crushed today?

Sadly, I can relate to this - but I sometimes imagine that deep down they do care about others; they only care about themselves more.

Very poignant, and I like the straight arrow economy of words

---todd

I sense hurt and anger at someone that prompted this write. We have no control over others' behaviour and can only live our own life and treat others as we would wish to be treated, hoping they do the same.

I feel the same right now.

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

how many blades
have you crushed today?

Loved the ending.

Lisa, an economy of words which I like very much! I love your longer verse but this one reaches me because you've managed to explore my favorite theme "The plight of The Human Condition and the dark side of it so succinctly. Perfect! Blades of grass, a metaphor for our brothers/sisters. Ah, our neighbors and friends (true friends?) have no regrets hurting those around them.

Without a wisp of remorse
they travel their course
stomping on blades of grass
that are their brethren.

And your rhyming doesn't miss a beat (pun intended) as always. How I wish I had that ear! And patience to execute.

how many blades
have you crushed today?

Simply brilliant! You know how important sign offs are. And this one is startling in the best sense of the word. You put it to us. Are we regarding our fellow travelers? What are the numbers?

Blades of grass...the metaphor! I say it, again. I'm in love with it. And "crushed" is the poignant and very apt word.

You've done it again. I'm awake at this early hour. Coffee on my desk and not one sip yet, riveted to your words. OK. I'm going to drink my coffee now and ponder if I really need to do the math.

Loved it. From the title to the power send off. Second verse floored me, fantasic wordplay.

Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real ChestersDaughter? Ha,ha, just kidding sweetie. I'm so impressed that you've written such a short poem, and a beautiful little gem it is! Great metaphor use and you've nailed that ending down in such a great way, wonderful!

Since this is so very unlike me, I thought an explanation of the reason this exists is warranted. Melissa has a poetry class, her instructor is a lunatic and has assigned them the very hardest forms to write, including the villanelle. These are beginners, why she would pressure them so escapes me. Surely she's turning more off than on. But I digress, as always, sorry. Last Monday she was told to write about anything as long as it had social relevance. Now, she's got quite an apt hand for verse in her own right, but this assignment had her frustrated. I said to her, "After writing a villanelle, you find this difficult, how long does it have to be?" "Whatever" was her reply. So I went in my room, got out my grocery list pad and scribbled this down in about four minutes. I brought it to her and said "See, it's easy, and it's yours if you want it." She declined citing plagiarism, lol, but told me I should post it, so I did. I was surprised it floated. I have thoughts like these quite often, never thought they would make workable verse, which is a testament to how little I really know.

Dear Todd, Thank you kindly, sir. Economy is not my forte, that's for sure. I think you're probably right, but in my eyes, putting ourselves before all others is almost the same as not caring at all. I also think many are oblivious they are causing harm at all, which is even sadder.


Dear Shadows, You're correct about hurt and anger, but it's directed at the human race in general as opposed to any given soul. I've grown immune to being individually battered. I agree with you completely that we can only control our own actions and should always treat others as we would like to be treated. I take it further sometimes, and treat others much nicer than what I would ever expect in return. Unfortunately, many have the mindset of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.", and stoop to the offenders' level. Appreciate the read, love, and it's nice to have you back again.


Dear Farah, I'm glad you agree and that you loved the ending. I thought some might be offended by it.


Dear Laurie, Honestly, love, you're gonna make me go out and buy all new hats to accommodate my growing cranium. Thank you so much for your wonderful and explicit review. Never true friends, Law, they will never deliberately maim. Unfortunately, they are few and can be as fleeting as a summer cold. I only used blades of grass because they are trampled daily on fields far and wide, I'm glad it worked so well. Also happy you loved the ending, that means a great deal coming from you who always ends on a perfect note.


Dear Revious One, Many thank yous, I do believe I feel a blush coming on.


Dear Cindy, I be the warty troll hiding within. I have Lisa bound and gagged and have broken all her fingers to give your poor eyes a rest. You may thank me now. LOL. That I have impressed you is cause for a party, my dearest Baroness of Brevity. Elated this worked for you, Cin, truly. Perhaps there is hope for this incurable wordiness addict still.

My sincere thanks to you all.

All my best,
Lisa