Thread: When Satan croons

When Satan croons,
lifting high his voice
in sweet melody,
bright notes sparkle
and blossoms open fair
along wide footpaths ~
The birds, dancing
on delicate wings,
fill all the world
with delightful song,
as wine-golden light
brims the sky-chalice
to cascade overflowing,
radiating enchantment
so sweetly, so sweetly
when Satan croons ~

A very cool, and slightly humorous piece (Pardon me if that wasn't your intention). Why Satan, though?

Nevertheless, the flow of this piece is smooth, and the words blended really well.

The birds, dancing
on delicate wings,
fill all the world
with delightful song,

I love the alliterations on this one.

Thanks for the positive comments - I suppose that the image of the devil "crooning" is humorous, but this is actually a very serious and frightening piece to me personally.

Originally Posted by TheFuhrer02

Why Satan, though?

One word: Temptation.

Originally Posted by toddm

Thanks for the positive comments - I suppose that the image of the devil "crooning" is humorous, but this is actually a very serious and frightening piece to me personally.



One word: Temptation.

I sort of had the same question, so I'll suggest perhaps changing the penultimate line to

"So sweet, so tempting"

Nice work!

If only his crooning fell upon only deafened ears. I'm sorry, I can't agree with Kenny, altering it would make it too explicit, he's dubbed the Lord of Illusions and Father of Lies for good reason. This made my hackles rise, Todd, well done.

Best,
Lisa

Well I am the king of the obvious. Poetry should not be difficult. That's why it occupies the gutter of literature.

Different strokes for different folks. Since you think poetry occupies the gutter of literature, then I, sir, am quite content being a street urchin.

^ Kaboom.

Originally Posted by toddm

One word: Temptation.

Oh, yeah.

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

Different strokes for different folks. Since you think poetry occupies the gutter of literature, then I, sir, am quite content being a street urchin.

Oh I am too. Just sayin' the population in general has been turned off to poetry by those poets and teachers that think it should be difficult. That's all I'm saying. Good topic for discussion if it hasn't been beaten to death here already.

Apologies to the O.P. for this aside.

I think you've captured the essence of Satan crooning perfectly. The effect of repeating the first line as the last line serves to throw cold water on the beautiful picture you've created in between, and is chilling.

Originally Posted by kennyc

Well I am the king of the obvious. Poetry should not be difficult. That's why it occupies the gutter of literature.

You should read some of my earlier work from two decades ago, then you can talk about difficult - those didn't even really mean anything to me the writer, all stream of consciousness and all - : )

This piece I felt was pretty straightforward, but without coming right out and saying what it was about - to say "tempting" in this, for me, would shatter the spell that is still being cast - for someone to know he is being tempted is halfway out of it, but in this the illusion is still strong and intoxicating - "alluring" might be a better word, but I'd rather show alluring than say it.

As far as poetry being the gutter of literature, then I'm with Lisa - I've read difficult "classic" novels too - poetry holds no special claim on obscurity - I'm sure you were saying that tongue in cheek anyway : )

---todd

Originally Posted by Gumby

I think you've captured the essence of Satan crooning perfectly. The effect of repeating the first line as the last line serves to throw cold water on the beautiful picture you've created in between, and is chilling.

thanks - I'm glad this had a chilling effect, and raised Lisa's "hackles" (great word)

- it helps to "write what you know", I've found

---todd