Thread: Death

Through the eyes of one’s tortured soul
He sees death appearing at his side
Uncaring he seeks one last glance from his loving wife
Death is but an adventure which we all must take into pastures unknown

While waiting for his wife to look at him one last time
He hears his heartbroken daughters cries
Leaning over to her, he whispers in her ear
What he says to her puts a smile upon her face

At last he can see his wife looking at him, a smile upon her lips
She Looks radiant, in her beautiful golden dress
With the moonlight reflecting her inner soul
I am carrying this image with me as I stand at deaths door

Knowing that he carries her love with him for eternity
He prepares to meet death on the other side
His wife and daughter smile lovingly at him one last time
As they watch him take his final journey knowing they will meet up again

Wacker

I feel like you are telling me, not showing me, in many parts in this piece.

"Through the eyes of one’s tortured soul," for example.

Should line six say "daugher's" instead of "daughters"?