Thread: Explicit title, see inside. (Explicit Images and Words)

I had read something a couple weeks back full of cliche. I wrote a cliche line, and then took it to a bad place in the next line. I did this five times or so and this was the result. A bit of an exercise, I suppose.

"Fucking Cliches"

I love you more than anything I’ve ever known,
and so I sew myself to you in malice.
You tore my heart with hands of fire,
and so I douse you in kerosene.
My weary heart is the only companion for my dark soul,
and so I drug them until they rape one another into static.
The shards of glass cut my tired hands,
and so I lick the palms until my stomach empties into my abdomen.
No one understands me,
and so I paint my brains with a forty-five caliber brush on the wall
until they get the picture.

Perhaps a form of exercise, but with a very interesting outcome. I have a morbid curiosity for the morbid, so this I like, especially, "I sew myself to you in malice." "rape each other into static" didn't quite do if for me first time around, but it's grown on me after subsequent readings. I loved the palm licking leading to the stomach emptying into the abdominal cavity, that's an intense image that struck home for me, long story, don't ask. Love those final two lines also, very original way to say blow my brains out, kudos, and the ironic kick of the last line is a blast of an ending. Well done, ramatheson, my morbid side has been duly sated.

Best,
Lisa

Well that was fantastic of you to write your detailed reaction. It means quite a bit to me. I have about 2,000 I've written in the last few years, and wanted to maybe start sharing some here to see what other writers think. I'm on a couple other sites, but they are either sparse or not writing-focused.

That final image is picture-perfect, pardon the cliche.

Excellent job on this. I once had a similar idea but I'm glad I let somebody else tackle it instead. This is much better than what I wanted to do, haha.

The comment means so much.