Thread: Upon the path

So I Can

Upon the path
We do traipse
Upon the road
There is a Wraith
Find your math
Find your mode
Journey down the hole
Feel the flow
Wear the soul
See the hole
Find the light
Find the fight
Count the row
Find the lot
Find your sight
Keep your soul in tow
Keep your love at breast
Sow the rest
Within your chest
Allow the best
Diminish the rest
See what is forgotten
Remember the rotten
Admonish the begotten
Remember the road
That breeds the shame
Remember the fools
That use the tools
Remember the holes
That hold the coals
Remember the depths
That hold the folds
Remember...the road
The depths we've ascended
Just see the future
Just see the past
Create your gast
Create your past
Figure the math
Figure your path
Find your kind
So I can find mine---

WCB

whew - that tettered close to exhausting, but that's not really a bad thing - relentless, like a throbbing hearbeat.
You may or may not have intended it, but it put me in the mind of a rap song, of sorts -
I can picture this one performed live, and it would require some animated gestures

Originally Posted by toddm

whew - that tettered close to exhausting, but that's not really a bad thing - relentless, like a throbbing hearbeat.
You may or may not have intended it, but it put me in the mind of a rap song, of sorts -
I can picture this one performed live, and it would require some animated gestures

Thanks I never really thought of it in rap style performance. It was just a rant I was feeling in the moment. Thanks for the kind words. I got plenty more rants and story ideas bubbling through, but I just don't sit down and get it out. I think there really is something to the old addadge "Television will rot your brain". I watch too much, but also get good ideas from certain stuff, it's a horse apiece I guess.

As I was reading I couldn't help but breaking down each line into important events in ones life. I don't mind admitting your meaning here escapes me (for the moment at least), but I still enjoyed it greatly.

Originally Posted by Flapjack

As I was reading I couldn't help but breaking down each line into important events in ones life. I don't mind admitting your meaning here escapes me (for the moment at least), but I still enjoyed it greatly.

Honestly the way I ended it should have been more of; Find your kind, Within mine. That might have made more sense, more of a closure, but this poem is more about the uncertainty of life the feeling of no matter how much you figure out, you can still feel lost. Basically conveying the turmoil bubbling within me at the time. But thanks for the supporting words. I'll keep 'em coming.