Thread: In the Setting Moon

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A winsome voice rose
into the unlit sky
its fingers harped
unwakened dreams

A bare vignette lurched
into the shadows
its claws scraped
unshoed expeditions

An arm is raised high
blurry stars in witness
its blood testifies
unquieted aspirations

A voice rose to the night
and formed a melody
its waiting days expired
unsought gem wanes.




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Love this, arkayye, especially that first stanza. Only nit is the cap in night and the period that follows it, as you haven't used punctuation save for the final period which should remain. Nicely done, love.

Best,
Lisa

This one feels very mysterious to me, and I'm still puzzling through it's meanings. I like the mood you've set here, too. I stumbled over the word 'unshoed' my mind wants to change it to unshod. Is that what you meant, or did you actually mean unshoed? I've never heard the term before.

Originally Posted by Gumby

This one feels very mysterious to me, and I'm still puzzling through it's meanings. I like the mood you've set here, too. I stumbled over the word 'unshoed' my mind wants to change it to unshod. Is that what you meant, or did you actually mean unshoed? I've never heard the term before.

*smiles* unshod is indeed the proper term, unshoed is not in any lexicon and was intentionally "licenced." I suppose that aiming for a bit more colour and a bit more drama can backfire. Of course, having said that, unwaken is also not a word but the combination of a prefix and the meaning assigned to waken which is lost if I chose to use "unawakened." So on and so forth it goes. I had no big hope of this poem catching the imagination and thought of its readers. But it has found its body and that is why I posted it up. Thanks so much for interacting with it.