Thread: Shards

Shards

I passed so many people today,
but I can only remember one couple
in any significant way:
a mother and child— more likely
a grandmother and child.
I was fortuned only a handful
of similar snapshots—
a splinter of their happy lives.

Sifting through the pieces, tenses shift;

my off-balance eyes
can’t tell for sure if that child,
wrapped in a pale traffic-light green jacket,
too near the beginning of summer,
is a cute girl or a beautiful boy,
but there is a sense of certainty in the memory
—that child will never hold anything
tighter than his or her grandmother’s hand.

This piece put a smile on my face. The picture you painted here was heart-warming. Also, the rhythm on the first stanza was great, and the first three lines got me hooked right from the start.

I was fortuned only a handful
of similar snapshots—
a splinter of their happy lives.

These lines, I really loved.

Once again, an enlightening read.

This is lovely, Svir, very touching. I find the title distressing, though, shards is such a nasty word. Unless it's an implication that your narrator is envious of the happiness of others, then it's quite befitting. But that can't be the case because of your use of "fortuned" (nice, that). Grain of salt, dear, it's probably just me, I simply dislike that word to extremes. Another well wrought verse, kudos.

Best,
Lisa

The ending really nails this one Svir, very nice. I do like the sense of the narrator being scattered in his images of the day, I got the feeling that the shards are his splintered thoughts and memories. I do know what Lisa means about the word, it feels sharp and painful.

Me again, I keep thinking snippets, it sounds prettier, but you may very well hate it.