Thread: Everything Comes From My Head Anyway

Everything Comes From My Head Anyway

This crazy beauty is staring out at me;
crazy because I should have never seen her
or had the chance to fall in love.
—I’m so easily attached;
and she’s never spoken to me,
—sung, but never spoken.

I think to myself while I stare
at her sheet of shining teeth
and the tentacle that they hide:
I’ve written too many poems
to people who can’t read them,
but it’s so easy to carry on a conversation
more like a dream than a mutual means
to merge two unlike lives.

It’s alright if I lie about my dreams,
the size of the conversations
and the lifetimes that burn so instantly
before my eyes open to the morning.
It doesn’t matter if I only passed by you
in a café, stricken with tunnel vision;
we are married when I tell myself
what, for the first time, feels so real.

This poem is nice, soft and heartfelt. Some parts did not feel as rhythmic as the rest, but this is free verse, after all. Nevertheless, truly a sincere piece.

This crazy beauty is staring out at me;
crazy because I should have never seen her
or had the chance to fall in love.

There's something here that's bothering me. There's nothing wrong with it really, it just that the flow doesn't feel as fluid as it should be. If you would let me try my hand at it:

This crazy beauty is staring out at me;
crazy because I should have never seen
or had the chance to fall in love with her.

Notice that? The flow was smoother, or am I having auditory hallucinations?

I’ve written too many poems
to people who can’t read them,
but it’s so easy to carry on a conversation
more like a dream than a mutual means
to merge two unlike lives.

The picture you painted with these lines is simply euphoric.

Again, a wonderful poem.

Ahh, you really know how to touch the heart, Svir. A young man in love is such a tender thing and I love the viewpoint you express in your poems about the subject. Being a woman, I am well familiar with the female point of view, so these are especially enlightening to me.

This poem makes me swoon. Thank you for your courageous words. Love can be one of the hardest subjects to tackle.

:3 thank you for the kind words!