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Thread: TEll Me

  1. 04-04-2011, 02:21 AM #1
    asahmed1
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    TEll Me

    .
    Last edited by asahmed1; 05-25-2011 at 08:31 PM.
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  2. 04-06-2011, 03:55 AM #2
    Squalid Glass
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    The first one went over my head... the second one... wow, I really loved it. The rhythm is wonderfully sing-songy. The image presented is clean and easy to see, in my opinion. Nice job.
    Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions.

    Check out my new blog, complete with new poetry! - http://www.writingforums.com/blogs/squalid-glass/
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  3. 04-06-2011, 07:50 PM #3
    LuciaStar
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    I agree with Squalid Glass about the first one (though I do like it --- it's just hard to get the imagery out of it.) The second has a nice rhythm and is written well. Short and sweet. I like it.
    Last edited by LuciaStar; 04-06-2011 at 07:51 PM. Reason: editing typos
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  4. 04-07-2011, 03:24 AM #4
    The Blue Pencil
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    Agreed, agreed.
    The second one really packs a punch with it's shortness. Well done.
    You know when you think about writing a book, you think it is overwhelming. But, actually, you break it down into tiny little tasks any moron could do. - Annie Dillard
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  5. 04-07-2011, 07:45 AM #5
    asahmed1
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    Clue

    On the first one. It helps if you picture the desert.

    Thank you for your wonderful comments.
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