Thread: After Epilogue (to Robert Lowell)

Trying to
type poetry
sometimes
feels profane.

Masters
write hymns
to the form,
flawless form,
in every poem,
each syllable
pitch perfect
and where
it should be,
a tribute to
the symphony
words compose
when plucked
and placed
in harmony.

And the imagery,
elegant without
force and flowing
with divine grace.
Holiest of Holies,
to reach a place
where imagination
does not lack for
color and metaphor,
rich with depth
and relevance,
like a dish
served every
reader patient
enough to
taste what
delights
a poem can
convey.

Sometimes
it feels profane
to use words
like profane
in a poem,
as a cheat,
shortcut
and mere
shadow
of a more
beautiful body
which deserves
to be shown.

This
is one of
those poems,
eclipsed by a greater poem.

Attempt to
penetrate
a silhouette
and reveal
its living
name.

I have to admit, I am not much familiar with Robert Lowell, but the yearning of a man trying to do justice in writing a poem for those who write poems well is very heartfelt. I just have a few things to point out, if you don't mind.

Masters
write hymns
to the form,
flawless form,
in every poem,
each syllable
pitch perfect
and where
it should be,

The flow and rhythm here was just serene. It was like listening to a march. I liked it very much.

a tribute to
harmony
and the symphony
words can be
when plucked
and placed
lovingly.

I have a queasy feeling about this line, as if something isn't right. What slightly bothers me here is the rhythm, and the meter of the three lines. The second line in question sounds in excess of one syllable, which is what the remaining lines lack. I'm not exactly a great poet, for I struggle with wordplay myself, but I feel it'd sound nicer and feel more rhythmic if placed like this:

a tribute to
the harmony
and symphony
that words can be
when plucked
and placed
lovingly.

See that? It feels much more having an up-down-up-down-up-down rhythm, which I found in the rest of your piece, something that I truly enjoyed.

That's all there is to note, I think. Oh, and I melted with the ending. It was spot-on.

A very enlightening, and perhaps, to some extent, a humbling read.

Appreciate the thoughts Fuhrer. Excellent suggestion in terms of flow. I didn't follow it to a T because harmony is a constituent element of a symphony, subordinate to the entire production. "The harmony and symphony" strikes me as equating the two. However, I have rewritten that portion of the stanza based on your comment about the rhythm. I am much happier with it now than I was before. Danke.

The rewrite of that stanza was amazing. More in-rhythm than the previous one.

Paying ode to someone deceased who inspired many, is always a difficult task.

I also think it's a very humble poem. It neglects itself the possibility to stand up to the tributed. A personal confession in line with his work, bearing witness to the kind of inspiration he left. The short lines took an effort to read, like the points were stressed through out, yet to good effect as it again makes the narrator (and maybe even the reader) feel small in comparison.

I like it, and I haven't much to offer as to what could be changed. I will only mention your longest line, I guessed it was deliberate to have it that way, as the only complete uttering, emphasizing the tributary nature of the piece, yet it did stick out and made it somehow strange to read, instead of just having the line break after "by".

Nice work.

Thanks Martin. I will consider editing the "eclipsed" line.