Thread: pregnant with meaning

pregnant with meaning
and hidden hope
treasure buried
and growing daily ~
life new and vibrant
small quivers
quaking earth and sky
with vibrations of love
of life
of joys untold ~
of tender eyes
in warmth of womb
glimpsing visions
in the dark chamber
giving faces to voices
and echoes caught
from outside world
soon will be entering
arms of love
and the eyes amazed
through shimmering tears
beholding at last
that blessed face
a miraculous life
and living miracle
of love ~

seeing visions in the dark chamber

seems out of place to the poem, edit that a little bit. (ex. seeing visions in a chamber of night)

All in all, a really good poem with a happy and hopeful sentiment. I like the tildes that are in the poem also, they always seem to give off a happy feeling whenever used.

thanks for the feedback - I was never completely satisfied with that line either, but for different reasons - "seeing visions" seemed to me a bit redundant, and plain - I have adjusted to "glimpsing visions" instead, for now - as for "dark chamber", I still like that term - the womb as a lightless room, I've never heard the womb called a chamber before

This brought back a lot of memories for me, very nice ones. (4 kids) Much enjoyed.

Originally Posted by Gumby

This brought back a lot of memories for me, very nice ones. (4 kids) Much enjoyed.

thanks - I wrote this when my wife was pregnant with our firstborn - of course it brought her to tears, but that was not too hard during those turbulant months

Beautiful!

It's funny, just before reading this I'd been thinking of my daughter turning 18 tomorrow and how quickly the years have gone and that it seems like only yesterday when I held her in my arms for the first time.

A few thoughts for you to consider, just my opinion so take what you like and ignore what doesn't work.

pregnant with meaning ...as you have this line in the title there is no need to repeat it in the first line. Start with "Hidden hope"
and hidden hope
treasure buried ..as the hope is hidden, I think the treasure doesn't need to be buried. Maybe "treasure growing daily"
and growing daily ~
life new and vibrant
small quivers
quaking earth and sky
with vibrations of love
of life
of joys untold ~
of tender eyes
in warmth of womb
glimpsing visions
in the dark chamber
giving faces to voices ...is this after birth? Perhaps the visual connection to the voices and echoes should come after being held.
and echoes caught
from outside world
soon will be entering
arms of love
and the eyes amazed
through shimmering tears
beholding at last
that blessed face
a miraculous life
and living miracle
of love ~

Enjoyed this, thanks for reinforcing my own memories.

thanks for the input - I will consider what you have said - oh and happy 18th anniversary of your motherhood

I chose the title simply because it was the first line - I don't want to do away with my original first line that sparked the entire poem : )

"buried treasure" seemed apt to me - a treasure that would be brought to light in time -

as far as the faces, I was going for the child in the darkness imagining the faces that went with the echoes of voices caught from inside the womb

maybe it isn't all perfect linearly - but those were the impressions that struck me at the time


it's interesting - I've submitted a handful of poems here in these forums, but this is one has generated the most comments, although I personally feel that the others are of higher quality - I guess it touched on a few joyful heart strings