Thread: Wisdom (on learning that the pitch is bent)

Looking up

and all he can think
is that the moon
reminds him of some
cast off fingernail clipping
dropped into low orbit
by stupid careless God,
catching the sunlight.

And the stars,
the damn stars,
shining around it,
making him suspect
that kid across the sky
has been poking holes
in the night

again.

I really like the way this piece flows. I read it quickly, but it didn't feel rushed.

"by stupid careless God,"

I think it might sound a little better to make this line

"by a stupid careless God,"

This is beautiful. I love the off handedness of such spectacle which your images create. I agree with Volgate and I also think the line "catching the sunlight" could be omitted.

I completely agree with all that's been said above, Leyline. It's beautiful and has an off hand air about it that makes it very natural. Well done, sir.

One of the very best friends I've ever had dropped dead. 32 years old. I wrote this, crying, hating the f**king moon for shining, hating the stars for existing.

A powerful work here, Leyline. Very memorable. It really got to me.

My sincere and heartfelt condolences on the loss of your best friend.

The fact that it comes from the heart really shines through, and your explanation makes it all click. Sorry about your friend, Leyline.