I wrote this just now walking to class. Thoughts? Criticism?


My Soul, The Sea
(3-8-11)

Bodies smashing together;
Like waves of the sea.
Fair weather for lovers,
Bad weather for we.
Former names: Merriweather,
Now lost to the breeze.

Now lost to the breeze,
The choices we've made.
We had fifty-percent,
Just a tails to evade.

Now we're alone on the sea,
And our ships going down,
Darling, please look at me,
My smile,
As you drown.