Thread: a type of happiness

somewhere
above this slow, overcast dawn
a sun rises

I love simple things like this - you can get the point across in only a few lines. Very, very beautiful.

It is very short and simple, but for me, it seems lacking in substance, and seems to leave me hanging as if it's not quite finished. Part of that might come from my being unused to seeing such short poetry, but I am also leaning toward the possibility it could use just one more line to pair with Line 3. (I tend to look at poetry as having some kind of pattern or rythm to it, no matter how distinct or subtle. That is probably a bad habit, but it is a habit I have.)

When I first read this my immediate thought was, 'Where's the rest?'. Then I looked at it again, started to think about it and began to visualise the really rich colours in a smoky dawn. However, I think my image didnt quite fit with 'overcast' & actually the colours I had in mind may well have been inspired by your avatar, I'm not quite sure! It did remind me of something that I frequently repeat to myself when times are tough ('This too, shall pass') so the metaphor comes through clearly. Overall I'm not really sure what I make of it if I'm honest.

You do these short lines so well. Very nice, Firebird.

Made me think of Egypt and what these days hopefully is a spring of the Middle East...

I'm a bit ambivalent on the title; I do like the scope of what happiness may be, but at the same time it makes the metaphor unnecessarily cryptic.

I like these words. Perhaps a traditional haiku form might work well if you think of changing some of the breaks and adding a few more words? Might also produce that "finished" feeling that Wolfe is looking for.

I think it's just right the way it is. I got your meaning immediately and enjoyed it a lot. I love the title actually, it suits me perfectly.