Thread: First Post: "Comprehending"

I wrote this poem a couple of years ago for a poetry class and figured it would be a good starter poem for me to post here. It isn't too long or abstract. A nice, quick read that is still powerful.


Comprehending

I still forget sometimes.

I reach for the phone,
wanting to tell you about
something I saw on TV,
or ask you how long I should cook
a leftover chicken breast.
In that moment
holding the phone
I expect the line to connect me to you.

But it doesn't work that way anymore.

After two years I should remember
your bones snapped on impact,
that the bus driver screamed like
the wheels did against the pavement.

Mom still has the dreams.

The ones where it was all a mistake,
somehow we just misplaced you,
your body never crumbled to ash
inside the crematory oven,
and if she just can keep you
inside the house, safe.

…comprehending means letting go.

this is a nice poem. I'll pick a few random things I noticed.

you could take out did in this line "the wheels did against the pavement." and i think it will both flow better and improve the simile.

You have a nice turning point in the narrative.


Very well done! Thanks for posting.

Very sad, and well done. I agree with Svir on taking out the 'did'. I think you could cut the last line out and end on 'safe'. Good job! Truly enjoyed, Lydia.