Thread: A Shade Entreating a Description (Long time no see)

I've not posted anything in a while. I'd like to come back more regularly!



A Shade Entreating a Description

From across the parking lot
I could see the shadow
—static in her collarbone’s trench,
a bookshelf inviting bounded knowledge
or a barren pole designed to hang her sunny dress;
I neared with a thief’s reverence,
preparing to still her image in my mind.

She was standing –rooted in the asphalt,
juggling a tiny bundle of loose-leaf pages
and struggling against the wind.
Her long, strange hair bordered a face
which seemed granted to me
by a gracious sacrifice,
as evidenced by her unicursal bangs.

Curtains spread—she was a bird cage
left open for the parakeet to look out;
and I, feeling something like a cat,
not hungry—more intrigued by the sight
of a potential meal as seen
through already satisfied eyes,
could only pass by on a wave of coy awe.

But she is gone now, and I’ve gone home;
the fleeting fever is over and I’ve forgotten
the angled details of her features.
I’ll never tell her she is beautiful,
but maybe, many years from now,
she’ll have a daughter that will read this poem
and somehow know exactly whom it was written for.

You do have a way of capturing a young man's thoughts and take on things, that I really do enjoy Svir. I loved your description of her, the small things you noticed about her.

From across the parking lot
I could see the shadow
—static in her collarbone’s trench,
a bookshelf inviting bounded knowledge
or a barren pole designed to hang her sunny dress;
I neared with a thief’s reverence,
preparing to still her image in my mind.

I've missed your voice here, hope you come around more often.

Thank you! Even though I haven't posted in a while, I haven't stopped writing!

Thanks for the welcome back

These are defintely fresh images. There is nothing I can suggest since the poem has a unique premise. It is very original.

well thank you!