Thread: Letting Go

I stare mesmerized
at a last lifeless leaf
clinging to bare branch.
How alike we were,
brittle,
yet still hanging on.

Afraid of feeling too much,
my thumb caresses
then depresses
the button to deliver
morphine melancholy.

Let's talk waves.
Not the subtle lapping
of sunlit shore
as sea embraces sand.
No soothing sounds
to ease the soul
into somnolence.
There's no place for serenity
in this discussion.

Let's talk swells.
Impulses
that suffuse the nervous system.
Each neuron passing
a silent scream to the next;
starting out as sadistic whispers
escalating into breakers
to batter broken shores
rendering innards a battlefield.

Now, we're talking.

Incessant crashes swallow
the sand in the hourglass,
flip after flip lost in raging storm.
Every second an eon,
while the waves never waver.

Intravenous sandbags
do not buffer
the ceaseless onslaught
and a roaring ocean's rhythm
rocks and rolls ragged edges.

From beneath drooping lids
I watch winter wind coax
the lone straggler to let go.

As a tsunami washes over
inept opiate barriers,
I follow that lonely leaf's lead
and raise canvas to capture
the frigid breeze
that I pray will escort
the essence of this vessel
to a land unplagued
by contrary seas.

I think Lisa, that this is my absolute favorite of yours that I've read. You reach out and touch me with the sense of, the desire to, let go. And I feel the letting go, I think the real poem about letting go is here in these stanza's

I stare mesmerized
at a last lifeless leaf
clinging to bare branch.
How alike we were, --------I think you should use are here
brittle,
yet still hanging on.

Afraid of feeling too much,
my thumb caresses
then depresses
the button to deliver
morphine melancholy.
From beneath drooping lids
I watch winter wind coax
the lone straggler to let go.

I follow that lonely leaf's lead
and raise canvas to capture
the frigid breeze
that I pray will escort
the essence of this vessel
to a land unplagued
by contrary seas.

Though I enjoy the other stanza's, it is almost like there are two poems here. One expresses the letting go, and the other, the raging battle inside you.

Let's talk waves.
Not the subtle lapping
of sunlit shore
as sea embraces sand.
No soothing sounds
to ease the soul
into somnolence.
There's no place for serenity
in this discussion.

Let's talk swells.
Impulses
that suffuse the nervous system.
Each neuron passing
a silent scream to the next;
starting out as sadistic whispers
escalating into breakers
to batter broken shores
rendering innards a battlefield.

Now, we're talking.

Incessant crashes swallow
the sand in the hourglass,
flip after flip lost in raging storm.
Every second an eon,
while the waves never waver.

Intravenous sandbags
do not buffer
the ceaseless onslaught
and a roaring ocean's rhythm
rocks and rolls ragged edges.

They are wonderful and scary at the same time. I almost think that you should have them either be two seperate poems, or if combined, change the voice of the one that rages to italicized.

A very harrowing poem, Lisa. I hope your pain isn't bothering you too much.

Intravenous sandbags.

Wow, great word usage.

-Cae

Wow, I'm blown away by this one, Lisa. You really do infuse it with the feeling of hanging on, weak, tired , sad, almost like accepting a fate caressing the button, morphine melancholy told a big story. i think ths poem shows great strength. The images and mood are almost tactile. I agree with Cindy about the two poems. Both expressions are amazing. You need to relax, and let go for a while, but don't give up.

Sondra,

So much to say, so little time! There is a lot I would like to say about this poem but since my laptop has crashed & I'm hogging a borrowed one, I'll have to keep it very brief. Love this poem, this stanza hit me powerfully:

Let's talk swells.
Impulses
that suffuse the nervous system.
Each neuron passing
a silent scream to the next;
starting out as sadistic whispers
escalating into breakers
to batter broken shores
rendering innards a battlefield.

Now, we're talking.

Liked your use of alliteration here:
while the waves never waver.

the sounds are reminiscent of the sea.

Love the imagery here too:

As a tsunami washes over
inept opiate barriers

It evokes powerful pictures of pathetic human efforts to fight off mother nature and ties in very well with your 'intravenous sandbags'.

Wow. Powerful poem.

I really loved this but agree with Gumby totally.

Intravenous sandbags
do not buffer
the ceaseless onslaught
and a roaring ocean's rhythm
rocks and rolls ragged edges.

Great enjambment here. The buffer/the break especially. I agree with Gumby as well. Two poems here, complimenting one another.

My only other thought; I think perhaps the alliteration might be overused in parts. I like that your style is consistent here, but I did find myself beginning to really pay attention to that instead of the natural sounds some subtle alliteration might produce.

An incredible piece my friend! Your poetry has always spoken to me and this is no exception, it's really beautifully written and the emotions are like the waves you speak of. Just reading your poem gave me the same feelings I get when I drop some of my empathic control in a large group of people. (Something I do not like to to too often) Only this is a beautiful poem and I am alone and safe whilst reading it. I'm not sure how much I like stanza 6 though, at that point the poem lagged for a second and I became briefly disenchanted. I don't quite know why though, and probably its just me anyway.

What I loved the most about this poem was the end of it, the last couple stanzas. Following the leaf, and weaving it into you story of the sea. Mesmerizing.

Lisa, what impact. On top of my list of favorites. The beginning is pure genius!

I stare mesmerized
at a last lifeless leaf
clinging to bare branch.
How alike we were,
brittle,
yet still hanging on

and...


There's no place for serenity
in this discussion.

Reminds me of something I told you this morning. Run with it! You brilliant writer who inspires me...