Thread: Faithful Dust

I'm not the greatest at poetry, but I try anyways.



Quietly like a cat, I watch you,
From my painted glass prism, prison
Nobody hears me, and you can’t see me
I protect your precious eyes from hurt
But don’t glance my way, you can’t see me

Stilled heart, Stilled heart
stopped its beating, stopped its beating

But you cannot resist me, resist not knowing
I can’t be know
Soon I shatter, shatter into glittering dust
And your precious eyes tainted,
By the light I held back from you

My body isn’t, isn’t, isn’t, isn’t faithful
Shed I must, this shell I grow

Gabriel, dear Gabriel, what you say isn’t true
Like Jonah I have been consumed with fear
Faithfully I must insist, she needs grace
But what have I got to offered, I like painted glass
Each word on my lips is a kiss of death

Like a madman I shake like madman
Posion drips, drips, drips in my veins

Moon and stars, like jealous lovers they sigh
Envy with them I do, for the Sun and sea
Who are nothing pure, and god still loves
For she is my sea, and I must protect
But glittering dust in the wind I am

i like the feeling and the passion behind this poem. Although I feel it doesnt stay consistant, some parts of it sounds like your trying to make it song like, in the part where u repeated "My body isn’t, isn’t, isn’t, isn’t faithful" yet the paragrphs and structure make it look like a poem and in some lines it sounds like your just speaking in normal conversation. i can see the memories you want to show through it all tho. It wopuld be cool if you rewrite this poem over and over again but keep the same meaning. I would be very intersted in seeing the new and improved!