Thread: The **** of Dionysus

Mmm, a grape's blood
its sweet life grown
bitter is still more
delicious than a plump
morsel off the vine

Let it sit, let it rot
let it become
something it is not
So what if it grows bitter,
Who doesn't?

It tastes better bitter
than any

Intriguing look at wine, though I prefer mine sweet.

a nice sweet wine with silky chocolates, best thing ever. i know i'm fifteen, but some of the countries i've been to don't exactly have a drinking age (:

I really liked the first stanza, spot on I think, but the rest didn't work for me. "rot - not" seemed quite a forced rhyme, especially coz the lines doesn't make completely sense - wine comes from grapes so in many senses they are actually the same..! Then the triple "bitter" is too much and the ending I found really flat and boring.

As is I would let it stand just as the first stanza, it really says it all and in a very elegant and nonchalant way. Sometimes less is more right.

Hope it helped,
Martin

I really like this just as it is, Hoot, actually, I enjoyed it tremendously. Martin's points are valid, but I think the second stanza and final line are clever. Normally the repetition of bitter would have jarred me, but for some reason, which I won't question, it didn't. Yep, I really liked this.

Best,
Lisa

Was piss outlawed? I like the poem quite a bit. I read it last night (or was it early this morning?) but didn't trust my tired brain to respond. I really liked the flow of this. It seemed to travel sweetly over the tongue, which is fitting for the subject matter. My hat's off to you.*

J

*I'm not really a hat person, but if I wore one, I would happily remove it in honor of this piece. I'm J. Patrick Lemarr and I approve this message.

I like the light hearted mood of this one Hoot, I think that maybe three bitters are a little much for such a short poem, but like Lisa, it didn't jar me.

Jeff, the word isn't outlawed, but not acceptable in a title, as they must be PG.