Thread: The drugs work and I wanna see your face again

so I opened paint,
started brushing
your hair with colours;
the always dark brown,
the flashing red, here and there
a stroke of white
took my innate care
of your eyes,
nose slipped,
essential – the fat marker to do your lips
and with different palettes of black and grey
set your body free –
to dance right off the screen
as your memory
was complete,
about to press [Ctrl] - [S]
when the drugs ceased to work,
computer crashed
and I had to do a [Ctrl] - [Alt] - [Delete]...

My only nit is that you can't really see the word white, though I was sure it was there before I even checked.

It's a bit gimmicky with the colors, but the poetry rises above that. I'm not above a few gimmicks myself though, so I can't really fault you for them, especially because the piece works for me.

I wonder if there is a way to show that the word "white" is hiding there, or do you even want to?

I didn't realise the blank space was the word white until I read others' comments. Shame there isn't a way of making it easier to read.

Thanks guys.

The words are programmed liked that, couldn't do a thing about it ; )

Sigh

I loved the gimmicks, Martin, the piece stands out as different and that's always a plus. Enjoyed the wording just as well. I also didn't realize the word white was there, I stopped dead there thinking you'd missed a word until I read Cindy's reply. Nice little piece, love.

Thanks Lisa. I thought since I'm writing a poem in word about painting someone in paint (the program that is), some colours would only do it right.

About the white, I actually thought it would pass as an old and recognisable joke around these parts. But the line also relates to the next one, and maybe it's far fetched, but I also meant it as in seeing the beauty of aging is worth the extra look...

It can actually be seen. Instead of simply highlighting, try and tilt the screen a bit and it'll show from a more horizontal angle.

Anyway, it was a light piece and I'm glad you enjoyed it just as such.

Martin, first your title was captivating! What surprise will follow?!

You captured a hint of senusality here, depite it being a light piece in my mind.

so I opened paint,
started brushing
your hair with colours;
the always dark brown,
the flashing red, here and there

I love your ending but if you would, explain "When the drugs ceased to work"
Maybe I need another cup of coffee but I failed here!

when the drugs ceased to work,
computer crashed
and I had to do a [Ctrl] - [Alt] - [Delete]...

Over all a delightful piece!

Laurie, thanks a lot, thrilled you liked the title, it was actually meant as a parody on the verve's "the drugs don't work". I'm also very glad you found it sensual, it is indeed a 'painting' of a girl I know. In general the whole piece is a metaphor on imagination. About the ending, I want to show that everything is temporary though, and especially our imagination. No matter how hard we try to save it in programs (or proper paintings for that sake), what we see in our minds will leave us again or become something else. Drugs in particular stimulate our imagination, and so it was to emphasize this point, along with the breakdown of the computer - that the imagined always is temporary.

Drew, thanks for your words and for letting me get away with stealing your font ; ) I kinda like that you have to just think it over to read that line in question, but it should be quite obvious already with the other colours in place. It was really a joke when I first wrote it, but it has grown on me, and since Cindy as the first poster got it, I see no need to change it really...

Thanks again all for your time and comments. Very much appreciated.

Martin