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Thread: Who you are

  1. #1
    Writer
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    Jun 2010
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    Who you are

    Force yourself to look into your own eyes,
    and remember your world of lies,

    But you can't even look in the mirror
    because you don't want to believe that your here.

    That this is who you are.
    That this how far.

    The worst part is you've only begun to fall.
    Everything before now seems so damn small.

    What happend to your dignity?
    What happend to your sanity?

    Pretend that your okay with what you are,
    but this world you've come to know will leave more than a scar.

    Your broken dreams will become a nightmare,
    and your beggening to make no one care.

    Betray the ones who love you
    as you run to who?

    Don't even have respect left for yourself.
    Don't even want to look at yourself.

    Can't even remember a dream.
    Oh but you were going to make it it use to seem.

    Don't stop digging the hole your stuck in,
    And trust that you will never win.

  2. #2
    WF Veteran Damien.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    254
    Some grammar issues throughout. I like the topic, but the rhyming seems a bit forced - the flow seemed off to me. If I may suggest:

    "Force yourself to look into your own eyes,
    and remember your world of lies -
    But you can't even look in the mirror,
    because you don't want to believe
    that you are here.


    That this is who you are.
    That this is how far.

    The worst part is,
    you've only begun to fall -

    Everything before now
    seems so damn small."



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