Thread: I hate saying goodbye

I hate __________________________________________________ ____saying goodbye

__________________one, last squeeze of the hand
__________________a soft, gentle kiss on the cheek
__________________and I walk
___________________________off the bus,
___________________________down the street,
___________________________through the town,

heart thumping + tears welling = all the usual symptoms


_____________________________________________one foot
_______________________________in front of
___________________the other

I _ w a l k _ a w a y

Hi Jessie

I too hate saying goodbye though the alternative is just as bad - they leave without saying anything.

A few thoughts, which are just my perspective and I'm no expert just another writer learning.

I hate saying goodbye
I hate __________________________________________________ ____saying goodbye

__________________one, last squeeze of the hand
__________________a soft, gentle kiss on the cheek
__________________and I walk
___________________________off the bus,
___________________________down the street,
___________________________through the town,

heart thumping + tears welling = all the usual symptoms


_____________________________________________one foot
_______________________________in front of
___________________the other

I _ w a l k _ a w a y

As the title is the same as the first line, why not remove the first line and let the title do the work.

soft and gentle say the same thing so only one is needed.

and I walk - and feels kind of weak, you could remove it giving a pause between the kiss, the person's departure and the walk. Maybe also

I get off the bus
walk down the street

Personally, I'm not too keen on the mathematical equation. Maybe

Heart thumping,
tears welling
one foot
in front of the other

I walk away

Again, just suggestions. I enjoyed the feelings of sadness in this.

I too, enjoyed the feeling of goodbye here, you did capture it well. Agree with shadows on the first line, you don't need it. I'm not crazy about the formatting, that may just be a personal thing that others don't have a problem with. However, for me this interrupts the moment and I lose the feeling in trying to follow the format.
And that's a shame, because your words are good.

hey thanks guys really appreciate the comments - helpful.
I definately agree about the first line, it's interesting seeing it written down rather than justin my head... I'll definately consider changing parts of it so thanks xx