Thread: Hunkered Down in Down

One eye struggles open
to gauge the weather.
What will today bring,
tsunami or cyclone
downpour or drought
blazing bolts or blizzard?

Sans crystal ball or wizard
probability predicts
the sky won't be bright
and my crop of hope
will be dying of blight.

Second eye follows suit,
gaze slides from side to side
squinting at the scenery.
What accessories will be necessary:
boots or boats
scuba gear or canteens
straps to secure me to a basement beam?
Perhaps I'll grab, then drag,
the entire array downstairs
and cower in a corner
of the cellar.

Steady Heddy, ready for all:
accoutrements to combat
every squall.
Initial hailstone hits haggard pane
to herald a horrific onslaught.
Orbs squeeze tight;
I'm not up for the fight.

Being buried beneath
a blizzard's bulk
won't be so bad
nor would letting the house
fly or float away.
Not too terrible to be trapped
anticipating
dehydration and starvation
will ravage me to the point of decay.

Today,
I'll stay in bed come what may,
I'm just too damn tired
for defensive plays.
Sometimes it's best
to let a comforter's caress
have its wanton way.

Hi Lisa

Hibernation is a much more sensible idea. I hate winter, hate being cold every time I step outside the house. It makes me grumpy but I'm not very good at staying in bed - I snuggle on the sofa with a nice warm blanket and my computer to keep me warm. I even have a temperature thing on my screen to see whether I dare venture out.

I enjoyed this, could relate too well.

Brain's not working well to give a critique. I'll look at it again in the morning.

Having a little inside knowledge of what's been going on with you, really opens this one up. I don't know how much one person can take, but greatly admire your tenacity and strength of will, sweetie. Rest well in that soft down comforter, you deserve it.

I really got the feel of a bad weather. Freezing moments of winter could keep one inside for too long. The indirect confinement. Not used to the winter. Maybe cos of my health status, but all the same the different seasons would have to do their own talking.

Thanks for pulling up this one, Lisa.


Uzo...

Again, the layers in this poem. You do that so well in your writing, Lisa. I liked this a lot. Loved the Sometimes it's best to let a comforter's caress have its wanton way.

hugs,
Sondra

This is a great piece, my friend. Lots of memorable lines in this one. I loved:

What accessories will be necessary:
boots or boats
scuba gear or canteens
straps to secure me to a basement beam?

and:

Steady Heddy, ready for all:
accoutrements to combat
every squall.

I loved all the alliteration. Top notch. You have grown in the ways of the Force.

Love this, its going in my 'favourites' book. I especially like the way the rhyme & alliteration carry it along naturally without ever being forced or unnatural.

Dear Shadows, I love the winter, bleak skies suit me well, and I abhor the summer. To be honest, save for when I was literally dying, I have never stayed in bed, no matter the weather, literal or figurative. I was hoping this could be taken both ways, actual weather or the lumps and bumps that life throws our way. That you could relate means I struck on at least one, and that's good enough for me.


Dear Cindy, I really should have dedicated this piece to you because you inspired the concept during a conversation we had almost two months ago. This one was sitting around for weeks, getting a nip or tuck here and there. Thank you so much. You know exactly what I'm talking about here, so I won't elaborate. One thing you should know, I'm severely allergic to down, shuts my lungs down, so I deliberately used it because I know there is no such thing as hunkering down for me, I'm too much of a fighter. I'm my own worst enemy.


Dear Uzo, I am so glad you mentioned the different seasons doing their own talking. I find that to be an absolute truth, four different seasons, four entirely different set of rules applying to each, which I love. It's a good thing I live in a temperate climate, the same weather all the time would drive me mad. That you got the feeling of "bad weather" was exactly what I was aiming for and I thank you profusely for letting me know.


Dear Sondra, Your reply puts some zip in my step, you dug down and got to the heart of it. I'm elated you loved the last line and thanks so very much for those sorely needed hugs.


Dear Jeff, Ugh, anything but Star Wars. lol. I'm always uber pleased when you like something of mine. It's funny, but the lines you loved were lines I were afraid to use thinking them too out there. I am so happy to learn they actually work. That goes for the alliteration also, sometimes I don't know when to stop and over do it. As much as it behooves me *shudder*, may the Force be with you.


Dear Jane, I am truly honored that this is going in your favorites book. I can't thank you enough for "without ever being forced or unnatural", in the beginning I was perpetually guilty of both.

My sincere thanks to you all, especially you, Cin, for without you, this would have never been.

All my best,
Lisa

Oh Lisa, this is splendid! I will be in a state of delight highlighting my favorites. For now, you’ve captured a tired woman so well. Maybe, the storm reflecting her physical ailments - this woman. Or maybe I’m reaching to deep. Nevertheless, good poetry will get you to thinking.

And it ran down the page so smoothly - smooth like a comforter. What a piece for me. Preparing for a foot of snow tomorrow. Maybe you as well in Queens. I’ll be pulling out my extra heavy comforter and “let it have it’s wanton way”

You know what I think of your alliterations and how I can’t help but point them out. So, here I go again:

“Initial hailstone hits haggard pane
to herald a horrific onslaught”

You often hear not to use too many alliterating words but here it works so well. You break the rules and win!

“cower in a corner
of the cellar.”

Ha! Hit’s a note with me. I can see it in one of my dreary poems!

“Being buried beneath
a blizzard's bulk”

Once again, you pull it off!

“Not too terrible to be trapped”

And one of my favorites:

“gaze slides from side to side
squinting at the scenery.”

Again, allota allits. You manage where so many can’t. They all seem just to come so “naturally” to you.

Snowed in:

Tomorrow,
I'll stay in bed come what may…and will reading this poem, again.