Thread: lightning

Don’t be scared.
mama’s arms around my waist,
sky the color of grape popsicle
sounds that make me scream.
Crash bang flash
(don’t be scared.)

Zeus is angry with us
a turfwar he’s already won
a surge of energy
an outburst of rage
sending power down in
his little white lines
playing with fire
turning me to dust.
don’t be scared, mama said,
so I clutched my cocoa tight.
we were safe.

(The rain was outside
and we were safe.)

II.

Mama wasn’t crazy
then. now
the only calm
is before the storm
the calm before the
crash bang scream
(scarier than lighting)
mama looking for
her little white lines
just a midnight snack
just something to make her safe

don’t be scared, mama
don’t be scared, mama
don’t be scared

but all I can think is
ionization
voltage gradients
and the irony of being homesick
in your own house.

Hello, and welcome to the site and posting.

Very nice, you blend the two together though different, they are in the end the same in topic of fears.

well done

thanks for the read

Sync

A big welcome, Astoriah (how I love pronouncing the word! Nice name),

You're brilliant with the divisions of fear in this piece. The first part made the chap take solace in momma, next was momma taking hers in the son. FEAR! what a silent plague.

A few things I would suggest: the breaks in some areas were taken sharply. Also I thought the tripple effect of 'don't be scared' could be reduced to two...maybe. But that's my POV.

Enjoyed this.

Foxx......

Hi Astoria

Hmm, I thought I'd commented on this but I can't have hit the post button. I liked the way the mother protects him from the outside storm in the first part and everything is reversed in the second even to the boy trying to protect his mother. Clever dual use of the white lines