Thread: Pretenders

Perfected the image
Without the truth
Perfected the denture
For snaggletooth

Perfected the act
Without the fact
Ironed the shirt
For stomach of fat

Immediate gains
Over future’s the rule
Only thing I can ask
is, “Who they think they can fool?”

Cognitive dissonance
Will nag at their soul
Inside they suspect
This game isn’t whole

But distractions are easy
Chasing finbacks is fun!
All the flags I could carry. . .
If I could pick just one

Like this one a lot cae. Sure speaks to the times all over the world it seems.
This one gave me a smile with that last line.

Perfected the act
Without the fact
Ironed the shirt
For stomach of fat

Are finbacks whales? That's the only definition I could find and at first I thought it was a slang word for money, but I see the metaphor at work here.

Thanks, Cindy. Glad you liked it. The finbacks bit is a reference to Moby Dick, one of my favourite novels. In it Herman Melville comments on whalers chasing finbacks instead of sperm whales, chasing distractions instead of the real prize, which is a metaphor I've always liked.

fgsfds....

also nice connections every 2 line. I esp. like this one.

Perfected the act
Without the fact

Well said. This about sums up all the bullshit. Immediate gains without a care for the day after tomorrow.

I felt the last two lines of the last verse were a little weaker than the others and you could have ended the poem stronger.

Thanks, Beary. And yeah, that guy has some deep things on his mind.

Thanks a lot, Shadows, and honestly, I agree on the last lines. They felt cliched even as I was writing them. I've substituted them.

Yes, that works better except fun and day don't rhyme

Day was intended to rhyme with wait. I don't mind it breaking form a little bit, not having perfect rhymes and the scheme switching around. It's a pretty loose, heat of the moment kind of poem.

On second thought, fickle me changed it.

A strong message lies underneath this one, Cae. It reminded me of a saying: you are different when you look in the mirror of truth. You're not just you.

The style here is interesting, too. My fav:

Perfected the act
without the fact

cae, a sading poem in that the majority has this mentality. If they only knew that they were looking in a fun house mirror... Excellent portrayal. Silver

Thanks a lot, Foxryder and Laurie . I really like everyone's take. It's kind of ranty, but I changed the end (again) to give it more of a self-directed air.