Thread: Without a Face

Let me have your take.


Without a Face
Falling down
Feet off the ground
Take a look at all around

A face you know
From long ago
To haunt your dreams
With pure, white snow

Tears are falling off the ground
A fire blazing in your heart
Lights the way into the dark
To find the man you came to see

Utter darkness strikes your face
Descend into this horrid place
Where in a corner sits a babe
Blind and cold and cursing fate

High in his hole
You find him there
In his place; he told you where
Scratched and torn without a face
The man to carry human fate
The man is you, so cast your hate
There is no law in this place

Blank is black without a hat
Bare and lifeless
Hunting rats

Hurry fast, and don’t look back
You’ve come to do what task you have
You saw him there
You saw him bare
Dead and cold and without hair
He pulled it out for he was cold
Dead he is, and so he’s told

Shutter now
Fall off the ground
A curse has pulled you
round and round

Hi Isaiah

I like the sing song quality to your rhythm, I could imagine it set to music. Grim images and scariest is that he is looking at himself in the cellar. Enjoyed this.

Like this also, with the exception of this line

The man to carry human fate

the human fate to be directed to the 'all' vice himself and inner self.

just to me, I don't like humans much, so it could be just that

enjoyed

Sync

This almost felt like the casting of a curse, with the sing song quality and the wording. In the final stanza did you intend to say 'shudder', or did you actually mean shutter?

Gumby, I did mean to write 'shudder'. Thanks.