Thread: Departure

The boson waved a crooked hand
sails to all unfold
and where we stood
the stone beneath grew cold
and softly sighed the desert sand
in memory of the deep
"The very breath which brought you here,
its silence I shall reap"

A beast full-carved upon the prow
revealed its truth to me
"You slayed the lamb", it cried,
"You set me free"
and howled a storm from high above
that tore the ragged mast,
"Those distant shores you thought you'd seen,
they're just shadows from your past"

and a priest began to pray
and the people gathered 'round
as one, they cried, "before you leave,
please tell us what you found"

Now I could speak of all the men
who walked this way before
or of heroes
standing safe upon the shore
but looking back across the land
I see the mason's scree
once so easy to forget
it beckons now to me

as the priest begins to pray
and the people gather 'round,
whose cry is answered only by,
silence from the ground

- Ian MG Smith (1968)

PS: ah but I was so much older then... the new me is in my signature (below) - smile

This reminded me of my time in the military, the loss of good friends, how time slips away. You have some very nice imagery here, interpretations can be anyone's guess but I like the ones your poem gave me.

thanks for the read

Sync

Thank you Sync,

Written before military service at age eighteen. Guess it was a just cry for some humanity at the height of apartheid in South Africa.

Simple truths are universal and over the years this poem has served several interpretations.

You are so perceptive Sync and I am real pleased if it worked for you too ...didn't know you'd been in the force.

Ian

Oh what a tale of the fallen. Vivid mental snapshots! Your poem resonates deep. I especially appreciate how you humanized the 'silence'. Though sad to me, I think it was pivotal to the longing for re-union between the lost and the living. You spiced this real good, pal. Would be on the look out for more of your poems.

I really enjoyed this Ian, you have a nice way with words and the feeling I got was almost of an old legend being told. The ending was sobering and powerful.

Hi there Foxryder,

Thanks, much appreciated.

Ian (smile)

Hi Gumby,

Yes, I do love a good legend.

Wrote this back in 68. Young, inspired and having just read "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran LOL

Thank you so much.

Ian (smile)

Hi Ian

This has a very good rhythm and flow to the words. The line about the distant shores being shadows of the past reminded me of that part in Planet of the Apes where he sees the statue of Liberty half buried in the sand and sees a truth he hadn't understood before. There is also a rites of passage feel to the words, leaving behind childhood and stepping into manhood with the adventure, fear and possibilty of death.

I enjoyed this.

Welcome, Ian. I can only echo the wonderful words already used to describe this piece. It has an old world feel to it, and flows along perfectly with a lovely aural quality. The ending punch cut deep. Very well done, and thoroughly enjoyed. I look forward to reading more from you soon.

Best,
Lisa