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Last edited by Gumby; 01-29-2011 at 07:44 AM. Reason: bad spelling
Cindy, how utterely delightful. I loved this line. I will admit I once had been in that place.
Powerfully and succinctly put!and every frog’s a Prince
in the smoky light of bars.
You've displayed your wry sense of humour. A first read for me I think. You're so diversified. And the rhyming was delightful to the ear! Laurie
"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light" Groucho Marxhttp://www.punksoulpoet.com/2011/04/inspired-by-the-artist-andrea-wch/#top"Emalyne"
http://www.motleypress.artandsole.org.uk/Issue1opt.PDF
"No Forgiveness for the Chrysalis"
Thank you Laurie, I'm so glad you enjoyed.Ah, are you saying you had to kiss a lot of frogs to find one little prince?
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Great metaphor and imagery. The fairy tale/coming of age theme has been done before, but your execution elevates this above the rest. Very sinister. Rhythm and rhymes were flawless. Especially loved these two stanzas:
It’s painful when your wishes
never make it to the stars,
and every frog’s a Prince
in the smoky light of bars.
The hands of time are cruel,
they’re both reaching for the twelve-
and glass slipper’s aren’t for running,
even when we flee ourselves.
Fine piece Gumby.
Grrr, Edge makes me mad, he said all the good stuff I wanted to say. Fairy tales have always creeped me out and you've magnified that one hundred fold. I love you for it. Your meter and rhyming are sheer perfection and you're becoming another Queen of Dark. You, Sondra, Laurie and I all must commission matching thrones. lol. Seriously, Cindy, this is fantastic. Two tiny nits, typo in wile, no h, and no apostrophe in slippers nor in mirrors. Love this, both execution and content. Oh, and for the record, all Princes have warts, some just hide them better than others.
Geez, I'm depressed. This is good, but now I'm depressed.
Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. -Sir Francis Bacon
Thank you Damien
Edge, glad you enjoyed, and thank you so much for your insight here. Appreciated much.
Lisa thank you so much for catching all my goofs, I'm beginning to feel like I should run all my pieces by you first so I won't feel so foolish.Seriously, I think I've caught them all, and then I find that I haven't. Grrrrr! So glad you enjoyed this. I'll have to pass on the throne though, I love black, but can't wear it all the time or I get depressed. So I'll just borrow yours when you aren't using it.
Foxee, I'm sorry! I don't usually do darkness, but my mind has a mind of it's own it seems. I'll blame it on my Scotts/Irish blood bubbling to the surface.I thank you for the read though.
Last edited by Gumby; 12-07-2010 at 03:46 PM.
Hi Gumby
I like the way you used the fairy tales as a metaphor for life passing us by and dreams going nowhere. Also a big ouch because I can relate to it too well. Why did my frog turn out to be just a fat old frog and not a prince?
Enjoyed this, thanks for the read.
Hello
Reincarnated poemsI won't crawl through the stanzas, but instead say this feels like a life experienced. Which is great, because whenever true feels are even slightly attached to a poem, it makes the impact that more strong.
I think the frogs are a bit like the sleeping princesses sometimes. What both genders kiss is not always a fairytale come true.
thank you for the read
enjoyed
Sync
Hi shadow, thank you for reading and commenting. I guess a lot of frogs are just...well...frogs.Glad you enjoyed.
Sync, well really, who hasn't kissed a frog or frogette in their time? Thanks for the read.![]()
I am beautifully stuck with this one, Cindy. The terseness of some the lines holds so well. It's such a deep feeling when the truth lingers in poems like this. My fav: every frog's a Prince in the smoky light of bars.
Enjoyed this so well.
Thank you Uzo, so glad you enjoyed, and I love the expression 'beautifully stuck'.
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