display your banner here

Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: The Bend

  1. #1
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6

    The Bend

    removed
    Last edited by Gumby; 01-29-2011 at 07:44 AM. Reason: bad spelling

  2. #2
    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    In Own Imagination
    Posts
    1,385
    Blog Entries
    4
    Cindy, how utterely delightful. I loved this line. I will admit I once had been in that place.

    and every frog’s a Prince
    in the smoky light of bars.
    Powerfully and succinctly put!

    You've displayed your wry sense of humour. A first read for me I think. You're so diversified. And the rhyming was delightful to the ear! Laurie
    "Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light" Groucho Marx
    http://www.punksoulpoet.com/2011/04/inspired-by-the-artist-andrea-wch/#top"Emalyne"
    http://www.motleypress.artandsole.org.uk/Issue1opt.PDF
    "No Forgiveness for the Chrysalis"


  3. #3
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Thank you Laurie, I'm so glad you enjoyed. Ah, are you saying you had to kiss a lot of frogs to find one little prince?

  4. #4
    WF Veteran Damien.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    254
    Lovely. I wish I could rhyme half as well as you.


  5. #5
    Edgewise
    Guest
    Great metaphor and imagery. The fairy tale/coming of age theme has been done before, but your execution elevates this above the rest. Very sinister. Rhythm and rhymes were flawless. Especially loved these two stanzas:

    It’s painful when your wishes
    never make it to the stars,
    and every frog’s a Prince
    in the smoky light of bars.


    The hands of time are cruel,
    they’re both reaching for the twelve-
    and glass slipper’s aren’t for running,
    even when we flee ourselves.


    Fine piece Gumby.

  6. #6
    Poetry Moderator Chester's Daughter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Queens, New York
    Posts
    2,425
    Grrr, Edge makes me mad, he said all the good stuff I wanted to say. Fairy tales have always creeped me out and you've magnified that one hundred fold. I love you for it. Your meter and rhyming are sheer perfection and you're becoming another Queen of Dark. You, Sondra, Laurie and I all must commission matching thrones. lol. Seriously, Cindy, this is fantastic. Two tiny nits, typo in wile, no h, and no apostrophe in slippers nor in mirrors. Love this, both execution and content. Oh, and for the record, all Princes have warts, some just hide them better than others.

  7. #7
    WF Veteran Foxee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a hammock strung from two stars.
    Posts
    6,358
    Blog Entries
    3
    Geez, I'm depressed. This is good, but now I'm depressed.

    Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. -Sir Francis Bacon

    ArdusOriginal Fantasy RPG


  8. #8
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Thank you Damien

    Edge, glad you enjoyed, and thank you so much for your insight here. Appreciated much.

    Lisa thank you so much for catching all my goofs, I'm beginning to feel like I should run all my pieces by you first so I won't feel so foolish. Seriously, I think I've caught them all, and then I find that I haven't. Grrrrr! So glad you enjoyed this. I'll have to pass on the throne though, I love black, but can't wear it all the time or I get depressed. So I'll just borrow yours when you aren't using it.

    Foxee, I'm sorry! I don't usually do darkness, but my mind has a mind of it's own it seems. I'll blame it on my Scotts/Irish blood bubbling to the surface. I thank you for the read though.

  9. #9
    Prolific Writer shadows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    in my head
    Posts
    326
    Hi Gumby

    I like the way you used the fairy tales as a metaphor for life passing us by and dreams going nowhere. Also a big ouch because I can relate to it too well. Why did my frog turn out to be just a fat old frog and not a prince?

    Enjoyed this, thanks for the read.

  10. #10
    Prolific Writer
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    361
    Hello

    Reincarnated poems I won't crawl through the stanzas, but instead say this feels like a life experienced. Which is great, because whenever true feels are even slightly attached to a poem, it makes the impact that more strong.

    I think the frogs are a bit like the sleeping princesses sometimes. What both genders kiss is not always a fairytale come true.

    thank you for the read

    enjoyed

    Sync

  11. #11
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Hi shadow, thank you for reading and commenting. I guess a lot of frogs are just...well...frogs. Glad you enjoyed.

    Sync, well really, who hasn't kissed a frog or frogette in their time? Thanks for the read.

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Fox Haven
    Posts
    179
    Blog Entries
    1
    I am beautifully stuck with this one, Cindy. The terseness of some the lines holds so well. It's such a deep feeling when the truth lingers in poems like this. My fav: every frog's a Prince in the smoky light of bars.

    Enjoyed this so well.

  13. #13
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Thank you Uzo, so glad you enjoyed, and I love the expression 'beautifully stuck'.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •