Thread: Isolated Tendencies

I have noticed within myself a strange dichotomy-
I love human contact and yet crave autonomy,
Fond am I of varied talks through both the day and night
but, with few exceptions, I prefer a mostly solo flight.

Yet this is inadequate to speak to how I feel,
for I long to be with those with whom I can be real,
and such as these are few or none in my life's story now,
so I am left mostly alone to wonder why and how.

Can such a hole be ever filled? Can I just change my way?
Perhaps there is a lack in how I live my life today?
Maybe I need to open more, or maybe change my mind,
So that my thinking leads to yet more strong connections find.

Take heart, oh saddened lonely soul, and bravely seek what's true-
that in another's heart is found what's needed within you.
What is evil seeks to part my soul from ones who care,
so I must be just brave enough so that my life I share.

Watto JB, I like this poem but it is flawed

I have noticed within myself a strange dichotomy-
I love human contact and yet crave autonomy,
I'm stimulated and enjoy discussions of all types,
but, with few exceptions, I prefer a mostly solo flight.

Why no B/B rhyme pattern in the first verse.

Though discussions of all types stimulates delight
With few exceptions I prefer a mostly solo flight.

The poem is written in a colloquial/vernacular style which some may find clumsy but I find "real".

However-this line bordered on bathos and jarred it could do with at least losing the "oh"

Take heart, oh saddened lonely soul, and bravely seek what's true-

Brian

Great points, Brian. I'm not sure how I missed the lack of proper rhyme for those lines. Let me consider and I'll refine that couplet.

Regarding the jarring point at the end, that was an intentional transition. It seems for me that, at some point critical and analytical self-examination eventually reduces to some sort of cry, usually not expressed in staid elegant speech (and hopefully experienced mostly in private! ). So I'm glad to hear that this shift was not lost, though I'm sure I could better express the sentiment.

Again, great points to consider. Appreciate the feedback.

By the way, what does 'watto' mean?

-Jonathan